Tonight I lie in bed wide awake, unable to sleep with thoughts and prayers circling through my head. I can't concentrate to pray and so Lord, my prayer goes out.
THANK YOU Lord for the blessings that you have provided for me in my life. You have poured blessing after blessing on me. Thank you for my wife, for her unwavering love and for the wonderful mother that she is. Thank you for entrusting me with Your three girls to raise as they constantly bring a smile to my face. Looking back a few years, who knew what you had in store for me. Thank you for my job and a shelter over our heads. Thank you for giving us a little land to care for. Thank you for a supportive and loving family. Thank you Lord for allowing Heather and I to follow your lead with this adoption. Thank you for stretching me and growing me in ways that I never knew. Thank you for expanding my world view. Thank you for drawing me closer to You.
FORGIVE ME Lord for keeping my eyes closed for so long. Forgive me for being selfish for so long. Forgive me for not wanting to see the world for the way that it is. Forgive me for expecting others to change the same way that You change me. Forgive me for not spending money wisely in the past.
Lord, you are a BIG God with much bigger plans than I can grasp. 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia alone!!!! I know that right now you are calling us to adopt a baby. What about the rest? I was asked the question today, "why are you adopting? Isn't that expensive?" Lord, help me find a good answer to this question that allows me to focus on You and spread Your kingdom message. Right now, people just think that we are weird. We are the weird christians that do not have a TV anymore, and try to be as "green" as possible. We are the weird ones that adopt from overseas. We are the weird ones that grow a bunch of our own food and hang dry our laundry. We are the weird ones that think that homeschooling might be a good option for us. We are the weird ones that have not seen a new movie in years.
I accept being the "weird" one Lord if I am given that label for living for kingdom principles. You were "weird" Lord. You were not about trying to fit in, but you were about the widows, the orphans and the poor. You were about building your kingdom.
Speak through Heather and I Lord. Speak through our actions and speak through our mouths. Give us the right words to say when people ask why we do what we do. Lord to You be the glory. Let us be an instrument for you.
HELP me Lord to focus on You. Help me to cast my cares upon you. Help me to spread your Word. Help me to remember that You work in every believer in different ways. Help me not to judge others. Help me to be your hands and your feet.
James 1:27 says this. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Help me Lord from being polluted any more by the world and to consider others above myself.
I know that You are caring for our child in Ethiopia. I know that You are going to help us find ways to finance this adoption as we have no idea how we can do it on our own. I know that You don't expect perfection from us, but a heart that strives to be more like Yours. I know that you are working in our lives and ask that you continue to work in us. I ask that you continue to use us for Your glory. And when asked, that we will have the courage to continue to follow, even if that makes us weirder.
Lord, I love you, use me.
Amen
Now I can sleep. (after a midnight cake snack)
Adam
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