Packing and Moving

I can't believe that we are moving out our house tomorrow.

Yesterday, we spent all day separating items in our kitchen and packing them.  There is the garage sale pile (which is large), the take to Kenya pile (which is small), and the take to our new house pile (which is smaller than I thought it would be.)

Packing is hard.  When we bought our house 5 1/2 years ago, we imagined ourselves growing old in it.  We imagined ourselves sitting on nice chairs under the shade of our old willow tree, watching the animals graze, while eating a bounty of fresh fruit from the fruit trees that we have planted.  We never thought that in 5 years, we would be selling all of our furniture, most of our kids toys and almost everything in our kitchen, and moving out.

It is hard to part with some of the stuff.  We are leaving a "known" and moving into an "unknown."  We don't know what it will look like.  We aren't quite sure how a family of 8 living in a two bedroom house will be.  We have lots of lingering questions.  Traveling into an unknown is scary.

However, we aren't traveling into an unknown all alone.  We travel with the God who is our Father and loves us and cares for us.  He will never leave us and He has great plans for us.  So, we are taking a large step.  Though scary, we know that this is the way that He is leading us.  We have been down a road similar with our adoption 2 years ago and so we can have confidence that God will continue to provide.

As we have been getting rid of our stuff it has brought so much joy as well.  With everything that we sell, we feel a little bit more freedom, and are tied down a little less.

I never want to acquire all that we once had again.

We have friends coming over in the morning with their trucks and we as a family are excited about moving.  It is a new part of this journey.  We are amazed at the blessing that this new house is for us.  We can't believe that it is fully furnished.  This has allowed us to eliminate so many material items this year, instead of trying to do it next fall when we would rather be hanging out with friends and family before we head to Kenya.  We are also going to be MUCH closer to our church, our family, and our friends.

Tomorrow as we load up our few items into the bed of trucks, looking back on a house that we have enjoyed, I am sure that it will be with sadness, but with a joy and excitement of what lays ahead.

(By the way, we are still looking for renters for our house and would love your prayers as we try to find the right renters for our place.)

Here is the picture that we have mailed out as our prayer card/Christmas card.  If you are not on our mailing list and would like to be, let us know.  We would love to keep you up to date on our journey.  

..Adoption Seasons..

We are moving into a time of year where gloves, coats and beanies are once again brought out and dusted off.  The shorts and flip-flops are put away (mostly) and the leaves have mostly fallen to the ground by now.  Parts of the US are gearing up for or already has lots of snow.  (Not us, but we did get down to 18* yesterday.)  Just as the seasons change each year, the seasons of life constantly change.

I had never really thought about it, or really prepared for it, but post-adoption life has its own seasons as well.

And we are entering the dreary days of Winter.

We have had a bright Summer, full of playing, fun in the sun, smelling the roses.  The Fall has been a season of change for us.  Our lives our changing.  We are moving.  We are selling most of our stuff.  Our lives are hectic and crazy right now.  We look forward to the time of the new-ness that Spring brings with flowers blooming, and the once gloomy looking trees starting to bear green sprouts and leaves again.

The Fall season of change starts to bring some ugly days.  Those days start to run together more and more until you find yourself hunkering down for the rest of the Winter.

It was two years ago, last week, that we met our kids for the first time.  January and February were very stressful for them as well, as they were pulled from their temporary home they had become accustomed to and began to live with us.  It was during this time of year that their birth mother had passed away.  It was during this time of year that there is so much hurt and past history.  The hurt is still there, lingering, waiting for triggers, like a landline hidden in the dirt.  Sometimes, you don't know what you did to trigger it, but it is too late at that point.  The explosion has already started.

Sadly, we are starting to find more of the triggers.  We are once again starting to see the pain that is hidden underneath their beautiful smiles that are all other people see.

I am sure that the stress of moving and the fear of the unknown is a big part of this, but we are approaching certain dates that bring up an unconscious, underlying fear and sadness.

So for now, we are going to hunker down, and prepare for the darkness of the Winter that lays ahead.  Even in the gloominess of the Winter, God is revealing His glory in numerous ways.  He has been providing for us in amazing ways.  May He continue to shine light into our house and reveal himself.

Thank you for your prayers.

Simplicity

There is something about simplifying your life that is so wonderful.

It sets you free.

Free to have more time in your schedule.  Free to have a house that is so cluttered.  Free to not have so many material items.  Free to be released from the consumerism and materialism that holds so many of us captive.

We have been striving to live more simply, eat more simply, and overall be more simple over the last few years.  I feel that over the years we have grown to live more simply pretty well.  But you know what?  It is stink-in hard!

Though we have been good about not adding material possessions, we are now trying to tackle the possessions that we have had and this is where it starts to get difficult.  We are selling off almost all of our furniture on craigslist right now.  We are going through closets, drawers, sheds, garages, etc and getting rid of almost everything.  It is so liberating, yet sometimes it is so hart to part with some things.  Now, I am talking about stupid stuff.  Like, I can't get rid of my snowboard.  I love that snowboard, I have many fond memories on it and I love snowboarding.  Yet, I have not ridden it in over three years and it is not likely that I am going to get away by myself sometime this winter, so that Heather can stay home with all six kids while I go spend $100 on a lift ticket.  It is just not going to happen, and I am okay with that.  But, I just can't sell the snowboard for $20 to someone at a garage sale, because I might use it again (in 5 years).  By the way, I have two.

Somethings are just hard to part with.

Overall, our kids have been awesome at this, but just like any kids they don't quite understand why they can't take their bikes and dresser to Kenya.  This is especially hard for our newer kids as they grew up holding tight to the few things that they could own.  Growing up, they just didn't throw things away.  So, it is a difficult task to send them into their room, with a garbage bag and a box for things to keep, with the task of emptying out their dresser.  After hours of work, the box is inevitably not big enough and the garbage bag is left practically empty.

Material things are just so hard to part with.  This is why Jesus told the rich young man (who had followed all the other laws) that if he wanted to enter the kingdom of heaven he would need to go and sell his possessions and give them to the poor, then follow Jesus.  (Matthew 19)  The problem was not that this man had many material possessions it was that many material possessions had this young man.  We live in a material world (thanks Madonna) and our material possessions control so many of us.  It was easy for us to tell Jesus, yes, we are willing to sell our possessions and move to Kenya.  However, the actual activity of doing it far exceeds the difficulty of merely stating it.

Yesterday we got rid of one of our sets of bunk-beds.  Yes, if you are keeping track this means that we now have 4 kids sleeping on the floor or on camping mats for the next few weeks.  (There are two that are still lucky as we have to keep their bed for a while).  It is so cool to see how God has been working and how He has been orchestrating things in our lives as we work through this simplifying process.

Through craigslist, we sold our bunk-bed.  The family came over to buy it right after we got home from church.  In my attempt to explain the messiness of the bedroom that the bed was in (like, sorry, this is the room of our teen and pre-teen) I told him that we just barely got home from church and didn't have time to take the bed apart.  Thus started the conversation of church, where we go, where they go, why we are moving, where we are moving, what we are doing, why we are doing what we are doing, etc.  By the time, I had helped him to his truck with our bed the conversation ended with, how can we support you?  Really God?  You even use craigslist to put people in our path?

And, as they drove away, I stood amazed at my God.  The God who is God over the entire universe, and yet cares so deeply about a materialistic man like me that he continues to provide over and above what I can even fathom.

...Gospel Patrons...

It was a blind email.
A. Shot. In. The. Dark.

Yet, there was a strong belief that things would work out.  We just knew that God had great plans and that He would continue to provide.  So, we sent the email.

Here is a brief synopsis of it.  "Hello, you don't know us, but we have heard about you.  We also heard that you have a house that you rent to missionaries for free or real cheap.  So... we are confirmed with Africa Inland Mission and we are trying to head out to Kenya in just over a year.  Is it possible for us to stay at your place in 2014?"

Well, like I said, it was a blind shot in the dark.  But, we figured that if we can find something cheaper than we can rent our house then we would have a much better chance at paying off our housing debt on our line of credit before we leave.  This is something that we have to pay off, and we are working diligently to do so.  I am working as much overtime as possible, and Heather is working hard on her Homemade goodies to sell.  We also are selling off as much furniture and items in our house that we possibly can right now.

A week after we emailed, we got our answer.

"Yes, we would love to host you in our house.  The trust that the house is in doesn't allow any rent to be paid and it is available from January - August of next year."  

With a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes I called Heather over to read the email (she was baking).  I can't believe this!  I can't believe how God is providing!  We are just awestruck at how God has put these Gospel Patrons (check out my friends book and link)  in our lives with the ability to host us, allowing us live rent free, in Willow Glen, way closer to church and our family than we are right now.

We are AMAZED!

It turns out that the owner actually came to our house a year and a half ago for Easter with my Mom's cousin.  It is crazy how small the world is and how connected we are with people.

Please pray with us that God will provide the right renters to rent out our house starting Feb 1st.

Also, we have a TON to do!!! We are moving out of our house and into a fully furnished place in San Jose on the first of the year.  This leaves less than 2 months for us to sell off almost everything in our house, and pack up and move our family of 8.

God continues to confirm and provide for us as we step out in faith.

Thankful

I LOVE November!  I love the fall and this time of year when the air is crisp.  It is about this time of year that I finally get to start wearing sweatshirts and beanies again and I love it.  Though, I do keep my sandals out because this is California after all and you never know when we will have a warm streak in the mid 70's.

I love the harvest time and I love that this month we celebrate Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is by FAR my favorite holiday of the year.  Christmas and Easter are great and all, and I absolutely love what they represent.  But, they have become way over-commercialized in our society and I can't stand seeing Santa, Elves, and Bunny rabbits ruining the beauty of Christ's birth and resurrection.

Thanksgiving on the other hand is a day in which, we can still be with family, celebrate and give thanks, without a bunch of blow up figures and stores full of lawn decorations.  Tom the Turkey has not yet been commercialized to the extent of his other holiday cousins.  This may be because we kill Tom the Turkey every year and eat him.  Mmmm, I can already taste him now :)

Granted, our society is trying to ruin a little bit of Thanksgiving year by year, as more and more stores are open and black Friday (also known as the worst day for American greed) has been creeping into the  precious few Thanksgiving hours.

This year, I am blessed to not have to work on Thanksgiving and I get to spend it with lots of family.  Check the cell phones at the door and spend time together.  Okay, we have not yet checked our phones, but I am highly encouraging it!

There is so much for us to be thankful for.  All of our thanks is given to the One who deserves all the glory.

It is for this crazy journey that God has our family on, that I am thankful.  Every morning as I take care of our goats, I praise God for the crispness of the morning, the beautiful sunrise and that He has chosen us for this mission.  It is not something that we had thought of on our own and it is not something that we can do on our own.  We can only do it through Him.  For this I am thankful.  Without Him, it would be overwhelming and impossible.

I am thankful that He has seen it fit to choose our family to represent our body of believers in another country across the world, along the Indian Ocean.

I am thankful that He sees my flaws and my failures and yet still wants to use me.

I am thankful for the support that we have received and that we continue to receive.

I am thankful for the peace that He has given me through this crazy process.

I am thankful for the confidence that He has given me as we follow him down a path that will require us to leave all that is familiar and comfortable.

I am thankful to be called a child of His.

Sometimes, in the overwhelmingness of trying to get our family to Kenya I get tired.  Exhausted.  It seems that there is a never ending to-do list of items that must be done.  It is in these hard, tired moments where I will have a fleeting thought that comes into my head.  "This is too hard, what am I doing?"  It goes away just as fast as it comes. Turning to prayer, I ask God these same questions.  And, in the stillness the answer continues to be the same.  "Because, this is the plan I have for you."

Don't get me wrong.  I long for Kenya.  I long to be working among the Digo people.  99% of the time I know that we are moving in the right direction.  The other 1% of the time is when I need a gentle reminder.

These last few weeks we have been diligently working on getting rid of many of our worldly possessions.  It has been so freeing and wonderful to start to de-clutter things.  Yet, in the busyness of cleaning and selling the reality of moving overseas has started to become very real.

Overworked, stressed, busy, tired, exhausted, we were in need of that gentle reminder that we were going in the right direction.  Then it came.  This time in the form of a random person.  Somebody that was coming to buy some of our stuff that we are selling.  The question arose of why are we selling our things and Heather simply told her that we were moving overseas to be missionaries.  This was when the random person whom we had never met pulled out a check and handed it to Heather, saying that she had seen our facebook account and had read our story.

Only God.  

Only He, can touch somebodies heart in this way to cause them to be this generous.  We are so grateful and love to see the way that He is providing for us.  It is through gentle reminders like these that He reminds us that He is the provider, and that we just need to rest in him.

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

Days till Kenya

When we went to San Diego last week we were given count-down blocks.  My brother and sister in-law make them and sell them on Etsy (which can be found here) and were kind enough to make us our own special countdown of the "days until Kenya."  What an awesome idea.  We now have a visual reminder for all 8 of us and a visual goal.  Each day, our kids are watching the numbers go down.  I know that the numbers are still pretty high, but they have already dropped by ten since we got the blocks and I am sure that before we know it they will be less than 100.

Yesterday was a special day of praise.  We received our first financial donations.  This was so exciting for us as a family as we see God moving through his people.  I also was blessed to be able to meet a couple whom I had just been introduced to.  After a few minutes of discussion they asked how they can be apart of our work.  (What??? I thought.  I just met you and yet you would consider partnering with us?)  Only God.  Only He can provide through his unlimited resources exactly what we will need.  We have been told a few times that we will gain a new understanding of the global church body and how God provides.

We are starting to see it and are in complete amazement.

Blessed friendships

We just had the opportunity for a quick trip to San Diego county to transpire.  My brother and his wife brought Eyerusalem down to their house for a week and instead of just picking her up half way, we decided, and were invited to stay at their house for a few days as well.  We had a blast.  We spent some time paddle boarding, which is something that the kids and Heather have been wanting to do for a while and spent hours just hanging out at the beach playing in the waves.

In the course of 4 days we packed a lot in.  In fact we didn't even get home till midnight last night because we were so busy.  We took the opportunity as we were driving to make the most of the food stops that we were going to need to take.  So, rather than stopping at a fast food joint, (which we just don't do) we contacted lots of friends.

On the way down south we were able to get together with the Rinehart's and the Oakes.  Both of these families we were able to meet while we were in Ethiopia.  They live in SoCal so getting to see them doesn't happen very often.  However, we were able to get together with them and some of their friends, have a BBQ dinner and let the kids all go swimming for hours.  The kids had a blast and loved being able to see some friends from Ethiopia.

Then, we were able to just relax and hang out with my brother Justin and his wife Keary.  They treated us well, served us good food and we were able to just relax and hang out.  We have not had much time with them since they moved down south a few years ago, so it was super fun to be able to just talk, drink some coffee and hang out.

While on the way home we made plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Meeting my cousin, Meghan for breakfast our kids were treated to free drinks from the kind Starbucks employees.  They saw all of our kids, asked if they were all ours, (twice) and then decided that we have enough expenses and we should be spared the expense of most of our coffee.  One of God's small provisions throughout the trip.

We then hurried across town.  Well, actually, can anybody really hurry in LA traffic?  We met with our close friends Matt and Danielle who used to live by us and have since moved.  It was great to get reacquainted with them.  Plus, our two little kids were able to go swimming in their clothes, which helped clean the mud off of them from the mud pies they had made at Starbucks earlier.

Finally, we made a stop for dinner with the Unruh's whom some of our kids had spent time together in the transition house in Ethiopia.  We met them for dinner a couple of months ago in San Francisco at an Ethiopian restaurant, but have you ever tried to have a conversation with other adults at a restaurant when there are 19 kids running around?  Yeah, it is about as hard as it seems.  So, being able to send the kids outside to go and play and eat while the adults eat "quietly" inside was a much better option.

After an exhausting drive, Heather and I were talking on the way home.  We were amazed at how refreshed and blessed we were to be able to meet with so many people.  We were so encouraged and supported by all of our friends and family as we were able to pray with them, be real with them and see the ways that they are living radically for Christ.  We thank God for the times that He gives us to be refreshed.

How will we go?

This is maybe the biggest of all questions.  

The real, honest answer is, only through Christ and His Church.  

There is no other way.  We can't do this on our own accord.  We know this full well.  There is too much standing in our way.  We have tough housing issues to figure out.  We are in housing debt and don't know how we can eliminate it.  We also have a lot of outgoing expenses and monthly expenses as we transition our lives to Kenya.  

If you are thinking that it costs a TON to move a family of 8 overseas and then to be able to live, well then you are absolutely right.  It does.  Let us throw out some rough numbers.  AIM, our sending organization develops numbers based on years of experience and the area that you are traveling to.  They have determined that our "outgoing" expenses that we will need in whole prior to leaving are: $66,000.  This includes costs for items such as, air travel, baggage fees, training expenses, insurance, furniture and a car.  

We also have to raise all of our monthly support.  AIM requires us to be fully 100% supported before we can leave.  Our monthly target is $7,767.  This is not all going to our salary, but like all things gets divided quite a bit.  It covers insurance, 401K, rent, living expenses, savings for return trip, etc.  We are grateful to be going with a reputable organization, who looks at all of the expenses and makes sure that we are taken care of as a family.  

Looking at the numbers makes me smile.  The numbers are over and above anything that we alone can possibly do.  It is only with Jehovah Jirah, God the Provider, that this can be accomplished.  Only with Him, performing a miracle on our behalf can this be done.  The beautiful thing is that it CAN be done.  He has prepared us for this.  

In case you aren't aware of our whole adoption story... We started with $100 in our savings account as God asked us to pursue adoption.  In just over a year, God had provided all $60,000 that we ended up needing through His body, the church.  To every single dollar, God provided.  We did not go into any debt, and somehow He has continued to provide as we added three children to care for and feed.  He has shown us that He is faithful.  He has shown us that He is the provider.  He also has shown us how He uses his people to accomplish his will.  We were beyond blessed once we released our pride of trying to do it all alone, and letting others come alongside us as God led them.  

We ask that you pray and seek God about how you can be a part of our journey.  We can't do this alone.  We need lots of prayer support.  We will be needing financial support.  

For those of you that have asked, donations can be made directly to AIM here.  All money goes to our "outbound" account until we leave.  

Why? Why don't we stay home.

The answer to this question is tricky to answer.  It can have several different levels.  The short answer is, "because God has called us to go."  However, that answer doesn't usually seem to suffice and needs more explanation.  The long answer would take a very long time to explain and I am not going to do it here.  So, that leaves an answer somewhere in the middle that I can hopefully explain.

Over the years God has been working on us.  He has been molding us, reshaping our hearts and our desires.  He has been leading us in smaller ways, in preparation for leading us in bigger ways, such as our adoption or moving to Kenya.

The simple answer to why we are going is this.  There is a group of people, who have never heard of the saving grace of our Lord Jesus.  They haven't heard that He has paid the price for their sins.  They haven't heard that they can find true peace in Him only.  They haven't heard because nobody has been able to share it with them, in a way that they can grasp it, understand it, and apply it.  This group of people needs somebody to go, learn about them, love them, and understand their culture and be able to tell them about this Jesus in a way that they can understand it and cherish it.  This is what we are called to do.  We are choosing to be obedient to the call, and live radically as followers of Christ.  It is that simple really.

"But people need to know Jesus here as well."  True, they do.  However, we are going to leave the needs of the local people in the capable hands of the local church.  The local needs are the calling of many followers of Christ around here.  This is good, and needs to be continued.  While at the same time, there are people who have yet to hear this good news and need a chance to hear it.  We are going as an extension of the local church to show God's love across the world.

I have been in East Africa four times now.  There is an overwhelming peace that comes over me when I am there.  Though I have never had a house there, I feel home.  I have a house here in the states and yet, after flying across the world back to my house, I no longer feel home.  Kenya is where God has been preparing me to go.  He has been preparing our whole family to go and we are excited as we embark on this journey.

What?

What will we be doing?

As we look back at our lives we can clearly see the hand of God sculpting us and preparing us to do His work in Kenya.

When we went to AIM's candidate week we were asked separately where we visioned ourselves in Kenya.  We expressed a vision of planting churches amongst an Islamic people group in a tropical area.      "Great, we have a perfect fit for you," was the reply to our amazement.

We are going to be a part of a small team, whose vision is to see churches planted and sustained among the Digo.  The team leaders have been missionaries with the Digo for many years.  We have been getting different training so that we can fill different roles on the team.  Adam went to Florida last year to learn how to train others in developing biblical stories that are told, retold and spread.  Also, sometime this next winter Adam is planning on going to Lesotho to learn about Farming God's way.  This is one of the avenues that the team is looking at using to assist in building bridges and ultimately building God's kingdom.

It is amazing at how God has been preparing us for this.  We both grew up in the city and now we live on a little farm.  In the last five years we have learned so much about how to grow things, raise animals and live a more sustainable life.  We raise and slaughter our own chickens, we grow enough food that we are able to eat from our own yard most of the time.  We have been learning how to live more simply.  We have raised goats, sheep, pigs, chickens, and ducks.  We have failed a lot at what we have done, but we have learned a lot as well.  Like, I have learned I will never try to raise turkeys again.  They are too stupid.  Seriously, we lost ten of them one year because they each followed each other into a hole in the ground that they couldn't get out.

I often used to wonder why a city guy, turned country was doing some of the things I was doing.  I now know.  God has been using this opportunity allowing us to live on a farm for the last 5 years as training.  We have learned a lot and God has been preparing us to be used by him in a different culture.

He is in the details....

Over the next week or so I am going to answer some of the what, where, why, and how questions.  

Where are we going?

Somewhere along the coast of southern Kenya, in East Africa, lies clusters of villages.  The villages are south of Mombasa and they dot into Tanzania as well.  It is a place that the Digo people call home.  The villages are mostly fishing villages and a lot of the food comes from the sea as well as agriculture from the area.  

It is to one of those Digo villages that we are headed.  We aren't quite sure of the exact location yet, but we will be along the coast of southern Kenya.  It will likely be a village with a lot of dirt roads, and maybe some inconsistent electricity.  We will probably use solar.   

This is where God comes in to the details and this story gets really good.  

About 14 years ago, Heather and I were in Nairobi, Kenya.  We were far from the coast and we had not traveled to it.  We wanted to buy some souvenirs, and thought that a painting would make a great one.  We came across a beautiful painting.  We loved the colors, we loved the picture and we bought it.    There were tons to choose from, but we like this certain one.  I didn't really know why.  We just did.  In fact, my aunt who we were visiting asked us a few times, "Are you sure you like this one, we haven't even gone to the coast?"  

"Maybe we will some day," was our reply.  And the seed was planted.  

We have had this painting hanging in our house and have looked at it for 14 years.  Today, I looked at it again, yet this time I saw it a little different.  

Today, I realized that this picture is going to be by somewhere that we call home.  

Focused on Kenya

It was a few years back, while we were a couple of months into our adoption process, still only planning on adopting a (single) baby boy that God gave me vision and a focus.

Our three children were inside the house, asleep.  Heather was at a meeting.  I, Adam was left alone.  I grabbed my cup of coffee, my Bible and headed outside to sit by a nice wood fire and spend time with my Father.

I was worshipping, praying and studying God's word.  It was then, in the stillness, as I watched the wood slowly burning down that I heard God speak to me.  No, I don't think that it was audible, though it could have been.  It was very clear.

"This is just the beginning of your journey.  I have much more planned for you." 

God, what does this mean?  I wrestled with this question for months.  It was a couple of months before I even told Heather.  Does this mean we are supposed to adopt more than one child?  Does this mean we are supposed to plant a church?  Does this mean we are supposed to leave our land and go and tell others the good news of Jesus Christ?

Eventually, through time, He has shown me that the answer is yes.  Yes to all the above.

You see, God has called our family to give Him complete control.  He calls us to follow Him at all costs and be willing to do what seems unimaginable.  To be willing to be counter-cultural and maybe even unwise, {according to worldly wisdom} and to be willing to move our family of 8 across the world to the coast of Kenya.

As I wrestled with the question, God clearly spoke to me once more.  It was in the stillness of the night, somewhere between the consciousness and the unconscious sleepy state.  I was at work, and I knew that God was calling us overseas.

"Are you willing?  Are you willing to give all this up that I have given you?  Are you willing to sacrifice?"

Yes, God.  I am willing.  We are willing.  I am willing to quit my career that I worked so hard to get.  I am willing to give up my retirement and the security that goes with it.  We are willing to give it all up for your sake.

It has been a few years now.  We have gone through our adoption process.  When we decided to adopt our three children, we knew that God was calling us back there.  That was always the "real" question for Heather and I.  How does adopting three kids affect our call to Kenya?  The week that we decided to adopt our three children, we went to Africa Inland Missions (AIM) US based headquarters and were approved by them to be missionaries.  I believe that God plans on using our family to further His kingdom even more so now with our large family.

Since then we have patiently waited on God's timing.  We wanted to stabilize as a family and let God lead us.  Through this time, He has sharpened our focus and refined our vision.  And now, our new journey officially begins!

Keeping our eyes focused

"Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of this broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Cause I'm worn"

Chorus of: Tenth avenue north "Worn"

These are the lyrics that I continue to sing in my head.  At this point I wish I had a different song in there.  However, for the last few days, (or weeks), this has been it.  

When there are great things on the horizon, and God is moving in mighty ways, it pisses Satan off.  He hates it.  I remember at numerous times during our adoption process being the brunt of numerous attacks by the evil one.  Well, he is at it again.  In fact, last night we had to come together to pray as a family, recognizing the attacks as attacks and praying against them.  I was great hearing my kids pray, "God, send satan back to hell where he belongs!  He has no business in this house." 

This last week, I have been trying to get ready for a story telling training that I am helping lead.  We will be teaching people from numerous different churches and languages, the art of biblical storytelling to assist in the spread of the gospel.  I haven't been able to put any effort into studying for this yet, at all.  

Heather is getting ready to go with our church on a short term team into a volatile place in the middle east.  This is part of a continued work that our church has been a part of.  

God is working in many ways and we know that he has some big plans for us and we look forward to being a part of the work that he is doing both locally and globally.  

So, satan tries to discourage us.  He has been winning at times.  Not anymore.  We won't let him win.  Since Easter, at the beginning of April, we have only been able to get to church ONE time, and it will be at least another week.  We have started to feel disconnected and lonely.  We want to be a part of the church body, yet satan has been keeping us away.  We have 3 kids with chicken pox right now.  We have two other kids with fevers, which only leave one kid healthy.  We were told by the doctor last night to go to the ER because of some bacteria in a blood test.  Well, that was the point of breakdown.  Half the house was crying, the other half was scratching themselves and I was hungry.  Yelling at everyone to come to the dinner table to eat made for a wonderful meal that we shared together (not).  

This last week, as part of a men's group study, I have been documenting a sin in my life and working through it.  Yep, that sin that I have been working on is yelling.  Well, I had been doing so good, as the punches kept coming all week until the last day.  At least now I have something to really document.  

We have a couple of choices.  We can coward before the attacks, become afraid and back off from the work that we are doing, or we can choose to keep our eyes focused on following Jesus.  Well, we will take another step into enemy territory and trust that what God says in the Bible is true.  That, as we make disciples of all nations, he will be with us always.  

The Feeding of The 400!

Written a couple weeks ago...

 It almost feels like this memory is still too fresh to put to words.  I am going to journal my thoughts here for now since I don't have any Internet connection to post anything.  

I arrived early to the church, about 3 in the afternoon.  There were already about ten people working diligently, preparing a meal.  They had been working for hours cutting onions, cutting meat, and cooking.  A couple of women from Project Hopeful came a few minutes later and were there to help as well.  

Some small children started to trickle in.  As they came through the gate, they handed an usher a ticket.  This is a ticket that was handed out at children's church earlier in the week and at the main church on Sunday.  
More kids started to come, most by themselves in groups of children with no adult present.  Soon, there were fifty.  

Adults started to hobble in.  Some of them on crutches.  Some of them with a cane.  Some of them had to be led by another person that can see.  Some of them had significant debilitating injuries.  Some had leprosy.  Some of them had a baby strapped to her back.  
None of them came in as a couple.  I did not see a single "family unit" arrive together.  
Soon there were 200.  And so we prayed God's blessing over the meal and those that were present. 

 Then the crazy distribution of food started.  Everyone got their own plate of food.  The smallest kids first, then the older, then the adults.  Some waited patiently, some were too hungry to wait any longer.  Food was flying at a rapid pace through the aisle, that was when I heard the banging.  I had heard it before, but each time I had heard it in the past the gate was opened.  This time, the gate stayed shut.  I glanced around at the courtyard and did not see a single place for anyone else to sit.  (Even by Ethiopian standards). The place was completely packed full of widows, orphans, lepers, prostitutes, the blind and the lame.

Then the gate was opened as someone left.  It had to be guarded.  Desperation.  Anxiety.  Hunger.  Emptiness.  The faces of the hundreds that stood on the outside of the gate told their own story.  They were left out.  There was no room for them.  

Slowly, as others left, a few more were let in.  This took place until the entire first group of 200 left and a new group of 200 took their place.  I couldn't believe that there would be enough food.  I know that this was not the feeding of the 5000 but I can't believe that there continued to be enough.  By the time the big containers were almost empty, there was no longer anyone standing at the gate longing to get in.  God had provided more than enough for each and everyone of them!  Somewhere between 400-500 people!  There was enough for about ten more servings as we cleaned up.  The "clean" drinking water that filled a 40 gallon drum was almost empty, but it too had been enough.  

We only had around fifty or so cups to start with.  Those little red plastic cups just don't exist here.  There was not time to wash cups after each use, it was too crazy.  So as the dinner went on, the red stains from everyone's injera stained hands continued to pile up on the white cups.  I was barely willing to touch the cup on the outside, to pour some new water in it for someone else.  I couldn't imagine drinking from it.  I guess it doesn't matter when you are that hungry and when you are that thirsty.  

I was completely blessed to be apart of today's feeding.  It was made possible by a church that donated $300 for it.  Well done church, well done.  It was money that was well spent.  You see, people are not only being fed here with food, they are being filled with the Holy Spirit as well.  The church has tripled since I was here a year ago.  They have planted two new churches in the area.  I them saw them have a special teaching time for new believers before the main service this last week.  There were about 20 people that have put their trust in Jesus Christ and have turned away from Ethiopian Orthodox and from Islam. 

I was also blessed to witness my 12 year old daughter serving those in need as well.  It was only a year ago that she was one of the crowd.  

Meeting Mita

We drove into the eight foot tall steel gate and she was standing there, opening it for us.  She looked very shy, and slightly puzzled.  She had just been been told about Eyerusalem and I the night before.  We parked, got out of the car and I greeted her.
Eyerusalem and her met, for the first time in about 8 years.  There was that awkward handshake, a slight glance at each other and then they both turned shyly away.  It took some coaxing from the adults to get them both to turn back towards each other and in the matter of minutes the awkward, childhood shyness was gone and they were laughing and having fun together.
In a sort of anticlimactic way, the meeting with Mita went well.  I am not sure what either of us expected.  Her whole family that lives in town was there.  Her mom, her brother, cousin, aunt and uncle.  Her house was big, and well kept.  It was so good to see that she is well taken care of and that she is loved.  We had a great lunch.  I have never been served so many Ethiopian dishes in one meal.  The conversation was good and the hours passed by fairly quickly.  Politics was a good topic as Mita's uncle is a retired ambassador.  He had some interesting things to say.
We will meet with her again one more time, tomorrow after church for coffee.  I am glad that we will have the chance to see her at least once more.
Eyerusalem seemed to have enjoyed herself and was glad that we have been able to come.  She seemed so relieved to see her.  The whole way to the house she was reliving her time in Ethiopia.  She told us about how she would look for Mita in the area.  As we pulled into the driveway, she was shocked to find out that she was so close.  She had been looking up and down the right street.  In fact, she had looked directly kiddie corner to Mita's house, but due to the large gates and fences did not realize she was within fifty feet of her.
I am glad that God has allowed us to be able to find her, for them to reconnect with each other and for this questions of Eyerus's to finally be answered.

I will post pictures at some point.  However, I can't do it right now from ET.  Pole Sanna.

The rest of the visa story!

I could hardly sleep as my friend Tesfaye and I were going to the embassy the next morning and we had to leave by 6:30.  Not having a reliable alarm clock, I slept light and kept checking the time.
Before we could go to the embassy we had to go to a bank near there and obtain a bank statement.  He also had to pay for his appointment and obtain a receipt.  The money is for the appointment and not the visa, so it is not refundable.  Our appointment was at 8:30, but the bank did not open until 8:00.  While we waited, another pastor who had been invited to the same conference showed up to meet us at the bank.  Somehow, he got an apponintment for the same time, (I am really not sure how).  As the bank took a long time and we rolled up to the embassy at 9:00, I was starting to get stressed.  They too, seemed a little stressed, dressed in their fine suits and ties, they started running around trying to hurry up.
At the embassy, before you can even get to the gate, security checks your passports, and your proof of an appointment, if you are not a US citizen.  When I showed them my passport, they asked why I was there.  When I told them I was there to help my friend, they laughed at both of us.  They told me that he was 18 and did not need any help.  Seeing that they didn't outright tell me I couldn't enter, I ignored the statement and proceeded to walk inside.
Then, at the security check point, they tried to verify Tesfaye's appointment and they couldn't.  They told us that they only showed an appointment for May.  As the line started to move past us, we were told to wait by the wall until today's appointment could be verified.
So we prayed.  We stood there for about 15 minutes, as they too questioned me some more about why I was there with Tesfaye.  Finally, the phone rang.  "You may enter." Alright, at least we have a chance now to have the appointment!
We waited about two hours.  I think that it was because we were at the end of the 8:30 appointments.
Finally, the other pastor was called to window 12.  He stood tense at the window for about 2 minutes and then he turned back towards us.  With tears welling up in his eyes, he shook his head no as he walked right past us back outside.  We did not see him again until the evening.
A couple minutes later, "Tesfaye, report to window 12". The same guy that just denied the other pastor.
We both got up, and reported to the window.  I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do or say but we had to do all that we could.  The gruff man behind window 12 looked at me puzzled and asked what my relation was to Tesfaye?  "I am a friend of his, staying in his house.  I am here as a witness to the work that he does." He kind of nodded, then told me to go and sit down.  Four minutes later, after showing lots of documents, the man called me back.
"Your friend is going to be granted the visa!" Tears of happiness started to well up in both of our eyes, as we hugged and congratulated each other.
Our God.  He is a God of miracles!  All glory belongs to him!
There is no reason that Tesfaye should have been granted the visa.  In fact, when he told me a couple of months ago that he was going to try, I thought that he shouldn't.
We went out to lunch to celebrate the good news, and the fact that today was Tesfaye's birthday as well.

Getting a US visa

We are staying at a friends house for the first part of week that we are here in Addis.  His name is Tesfaye.  He is one of the pastors of the church that we go to here in Korah.  When he heard that I was returning to ET he kindly offered up a place for us to stay.  What an amazing blessing.  Not only do we have a place to stay but he has given us his whole house.  He moved his wife, his one month old child and himself across the alleyway to his mothers house so that we can stay here in his house.  I can't believe it!  Not only did he give us a house to stay in, he and his wife have been caring for our needs without us asking.  They have made tons of meals for us and bought bottled water for us to drink.  
Tesfaye told me about a problem when I first arrived.  He has been invited to a disciple making and church planting training in South Dakota.  The church that is sponsoring it is even paying for the flight and the room and board.  The problem is that the training starts on may 8th.  The next available appointment at the US embassy for him to apply for a visa is on May 8th.  This poses a huge problem as they will not grant him a visa knowing that he will miss the training.  
So we prayed about it.  
I told him that he should call or go there to see if there is a way to get another appointment, incase someone has cancelled.  Well, there is not.  You have to schedule the appointment online without exception.  (Our embassy is not the easiest to work with or the friendliest!). So he went to an Internet cafe, and tried to have someone help him get another appointment.  The only one available was now for May 14th.  He went to another Internet cafe to try again with someone else's help.  Once again he was told and shown that the next appointment was for May 14th. Deeply saddened, he walked out the door towards the bus stop.  
Then the miracle happened,  the girl came running out of the cafe toward him. She brought him back to the cafe and showed him the computer.  "Next available appointment, April 11th at 8:30am.". Tomorrow!!!  My God, He is amazing!  The time and date changed on her computer right before her eyes and he has been granted an earlier appointment.  
It costs $150 just to make the appointment, whether you get the visa or not! So tomorrow morningI am going to go with him, to petition the embassy on his behalf as he applies for a visa!  I know that God is using him in big ways here in Korah and I trust that he wants him in South Dakota to get more training.  
We prayed tonight together that he will be granted this visa and we shall go and see in the morning.

Sent from my iPad

Mita has been found!

It has been a super crazy week here as we are getting ready to fly out tomorrow to Kenya and then on the Ethiopia.
However, before we fly out we wanted to share some awesome news!
Mita has been found!  Searching for her was like looking for a needle in a hay stack.  However, God knew exactly where she is.  In His almighty and sovereign way, he has allowed the investigators to find her just before we arrive.
We are told that she is in a good home, with a mother who loves, provides, and cares for her.  This makes our hearts so happy to know that she is in a good place.  Praise God.
So, we are still traveling.  We still have lots of questions.  Now that we know where she is, we won't be wasting a bunch of time aimlessly looking.  We already have an appointment set up on Monday with the investigators so that they can introduce us.  Hopefully this will be a wonderful time of reconnecting with a lost loved one for Eyerusalem, and Mita.
Eyerusalem and the rest of us are a little sad, as we don't foresee any sort of adoption.  However, we are amazed at how God has allowed us to even find her.
Here is what I gave to the investigators.  I gave them the court documents, and a bunch of pictures.  The court documents had a ton of holes in the history, including no address.  Then I gave the investigators an 8x10 picture of a dirt road in the village with this description.  "If you find this road, then follow it to the store that sells water.  Then, you are in the area of finding this man (another 8x10 picture of a man).  We think that if you can find this man, whose name we don't know, and phone number we don't have, then he might have some information that will tell you about Mita.  (HA!  Our God is good!)

Pray with us as we travel tomorrow.  It will be an emotionally hard trip for the both of us, though especially for Eyerus.    

Don't leave me

It really shouldn't be shocking.

Actually, we were expecting it.

But it breaks our hearts nonetheless.....

Imagine growing up as a child without the security of a family.  Without the security of a good next meal.  Without the security that comes from having your needs met.  This is the childhood that she remembers.

Really, it is hard for us to imagine.  It is hard to put myself in her shoes, even though I have seen it with my own eyes.  

She doesn't have to worry about her next meal now.  She has a family who loves her, cares for her, protects her, and meets her needs.  The present can't erase the past.  Those memories are still true.  They linger around, always questioning if it will happen again.

We knew something was wrong.  It felt like we had just regressed to where we were almost a year ago.  The fits, the anger, the yelling.
So, we sat her down.
We talked.
And her ugly fears came out.

Honey, you are part of our family now.  Forever.  Forever and always.  We love you.  You can't do anything to us to cause us not to love you.  We choose to love you.  When you look at that picture of our family up on the wall, you are in it.  You will always be in it.  When we get to Ethiopia in two weeks, you will be with me the whole time.  I will not drop you off at the orphanage.  I will not leave you in Ethiopia.  You have a return plane ticket home.  Let me show it to you.  See, here is your seat, and your ticket.  You will sit by the window and we will fly into Rome, and then London.  Both of us are coming home.  I promise.  I know that going to Ethiopia is scary and hard.  You live with us now though in California.  This is a short trip.  One with a purpose.  Our purpose is to find your sister.

We are going there together and we are coming home together, because you have a family waiting for you when you return.

Going back to Ethiopia!

In 22 days Eyerusalem and I (Adam) will be boarding a plane and heading back to Ethiopia!  I am so excited!  I need to go back there.  I have longed to go back every single day since getting to the US.  This is going to be an amazing trip for the both of us.  We came home exactly one year ago from when we will be leaving.  Today, we went and applied for Eyerusalem's passport and we are booking airfare in the morning.

Why?
If you are thinking that this trip is coming up quick, then you are right.  Though Heather and I decided quickly to leave, (like in a discussion on a 2 mile walk) we are confident that this is where the Holy Spirit has been leading us.  Ever since I heard about Mita, I knew that I would be traveling back to ET.  My thoughts have been; If she is found in a good situation, then I need to go to ET and verify it for myself.  If she is found in a bad situation, then I need to go there and try to get her out of that situation.  If she is not found then I must go there and search for her myself.  So, I have just been waiting for the right time to go.  It has always been my plan to go myself because it wouldn't work to bring the whole family, and would cost us a TON!  I was sitting in church the other day and the Holy Spirit pushed me and opened up my eyes and heart to take Eyerusalem with me.  I had not even thought about it before.

Why Eyerusalem?
She will be a huge asset while we are there.  She knows the story, she knows the people, and she knows the language.  She also will be way easier to travel with than any of the other kids.  She is super excited to go.  I think that even if we can't find Mita, it will help bring closure for the both of us knowing that we have done everything that we possibly could to try and find her.  She asked me the other day if she can tell the people in her village about Jesus.  I told her absolutely.  She also asked me if she can bring some of her stuff to the poor people in the village and give it away.  I told her absolutely.  I love her heart.  She has such a missionary heart and a heart for those that have less than her.  God has been doing amazing things in her heart over the last few months and I am excited to be able to bring her to a place where she can go back into her village that is full of muslims and witness to them about the love of Jesus.

The details:
We are keeping this trip cheap and we are hoping to be able to stay at some friends houses while we are there.  I am excited about the possibility of staying in peoples houses.  It will be an awesome experience.  We will be in ET for a little more than a week and plan on spending the time meeting with the investigators that are there and assisting them in the village.  With Eyerusalem, we will be much more mobile and able to go out for the day.  The investigators have been able to meet with the extended family but have been unable to locate Mita yet.  We are not sure if we can change that but we must try.  We are leaving April 3rd and coming home April 16th.

KENYA?
My uncle, aunt and cousin are missionaries in Nairobi, Kenya.  So, since we are already going to be on that side of the world, we thought that it would be even more of an awesome trip to stop in and stay with the Maples for a few days. :)  I thought that the flights would cost us a lot more making our way to Kenya, but they are exactly the same price.  It makes no difference for us to fly there as well.  How awesome is that?  So we will be able to visit with family and see the ministry that they are doing.  I am stoked about being able to go back to Kenya as well.  Some may ask; isn't Kenya kind of dangerous right now?  Maybe it is, but that is not really a concern of mine.  I trust that God is sovereign and in control at all times.  I rest in that.

How can you pray?
Pray that God will direct us to find Mita.
Pray that this will be an amazing time for Eyerusalem and I to really connect.  She is almost a teenager and I cherish this time that I will have with her.
Pray that we will be able to find a place to stay.
Pray that we will be able to bring encouragement and a piece of home to the Maples.

God, we are yours. Lead us.

We weren't looking.

We don't need any more craziness.

We don't have a clue what to do.

We can't do this without you, God.

This is not our plan.

We don't have the resources for this.

We don't know if we can handle this emotionally.

Why God?  Why now?  Why us?
These have been my conversations and prayers with God this last week.  His response has been so clear, almost audible.  "Because you love me.  Because you are willing.  Because I use people just like you to complete my plan of redemption for others."  To think that God can use us is incredibly humbling.

It was a week ago that Eyerusalem came into the kitchen holding a picture from her past.  She got it when we visited her home in Gerji, almost a year ago now.  She came in crying, and needing to get something off her chest that was so incredibly heavy and difficult to bear.  Something I can't imagine my 12 year old has had to hold in and not think about.   We don't blame her by any means.  We completely understand.

The picture she was holding is of herself at age 5, washing clothes with her mother, father and another little girl, age 3 in a river.  We had asked about the other girl before and we were told that she was a friend.  Now, Eyerusalem wanted to tell us the truth, and that she - is - her - sister.  It is not Mahlet, she was a baby at the time as they are 4 years apart.  As we held her, crying, we began to ask questions and over the course of a couple days we have been able to put together some pieces.

Her name is Meeta.  At about the age of 5 she was kidnapped by some men who knew her father (deceased at the time).  They then sold her to another party.  Her mother tried to search for her for a year, sacrificing food at times to pay for flyers.  We don't know what has happened to her since but about 2-3 years ago, Eyerusalem and her mother saw her one day in the market.   Before anything could be done, she had been whisked into a car and was off again.  So we have reason to believe that she is still alive and is still living in the general area in Addis.

We are heartbroken, for both Meeta and Eyerusalem for carrying this grief with her and living through this.  Mahlet remembers playing with Meeta but not much else.

We don't know what we are doing.  But we need answers.  We trust that God brought this information to us at just the right time for a reason.  We don't know if we will be able to find her or do anything on her behalf but we must try.  We must do all that we can for now.  Even if it is just to bring closure for Eyerusalem and now ourselves.

A co-worker of mine told me that we should just sit back and believe that Meeta is in a good family and is doing well.  We can't play ignorant, nor do we want to.  We have a hole in our hearts now that must be filled.  I was reminded of the parable of the good Samaritan the other day.  The priest and the Levite walked by the wounded man and then the Samaritan came.  He was a hated enemy.  He didn't pretend that he wasn't needed.  He didn't ignore the problem.  He also didn't stop by the man, pray for him, and then leave, promising to keep him in his prayers that maybe God would help him.  No, he took action.
The Bible is full of action takers.  Not people sitting on the sideline watching, praying, wanting to stay in the ignorant bliss, and hoping not to do anything that would cost them too much.

In God's plan for redemption, we are His tools to accomplish His mighty task.  We know that God is, "Father of the fatherless, and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation." Psalms 68:5

We know that He is fully in control.  We trust in Him and His mighty wisdom.  We look for him for direction because we don't know where to go.  We also trust in His comfort because I know that this road that He is asking us to travel down will be a bumpy very difficult road to take.  It will be full of challenges and heartbreak, and we don't even know if there will be anything waiting for us at the end.

We ask for your prayers and support for Meeta, for Eyerusalem and for us as we embark on another journey.  May God be glorified through all we do.  And mark my words, if we find Meeta it will be a true miracle.  If we have the joy of bringing her home one day, it will be another true miracle that can only come from the God of miracles.  

What a year 2012 was

We now step into 2013 and we look forward to what it will bring for our family.  However, as we continue to go forward it is healthy and good for us to look back at how far we have come.  

A year ago we were in Ethiopia fighting to gain custody of our children.  We took custody of our girls on Jan 4th and Yosef a few months later.  Last year, we spent Christmas as a family of five, overseas, visiting our kids for a couple of hours in the orphanage (transition home).  We skyped with family and celebrated a wonderful, different and exciting time.  Fast forward to this last week.  We watched in amazement as our three new children were engaged with their new sisters and other family.  We watched them open presents, and worship God at our Christmas eve service.  

Yesterday, we all shared some of our favorite 2012 memories.  Here are mine for each of them:

My beautiful and amazing wife-  It has been incredible to see her transform into the mother that she is.  Handling three kids was hard, but taking on six of them with their education is a lot to ask.  Heather has done this with grace and wisdom.  I am incredibly proud to have her as my wife and to walk this journey with her.  

Eyerusalem-  My proudest moment of the year with Eyerus came when I was able to baptize her.  Seeing her grow and learn has been nothing less than amazing.  She has come a long ways in the last 12 months.  

Mahlet-  Watching her transition from a very shy, scared, angry little girl into the girl that she is today has been watching a miracle from the inside.  What an incredible transformation we have witnessed.  

London-  I have been incredibly proud as I have watched her learn to read.  It is so fun to snuggle up on the couch with her and have her read a book.  She has also settled into the role of no longer being the oldest incredibly well.  She may not be the oldest, but she will always be the longest.  She is very proud of that.  

Geneva- My favorite memory of her came at the beginning of the year.  We went to visit one of our sponsor children and seeing her heart there was so great to watch.  She gave away a couple of her toys, including her Barbie.  Not just any Barbie, but the one that she had just received for Christmas, her favorite one.  She was telling me about it this week and she still remembered the Barbies name and that her hair changed colors.  She was still happy that she gave it away.  Geneva has an incredible heart for those less fortunate.  

Capri-  We have watched our little girl turn into a big sister this year.  She loves Yosef so much and is his big sister.  She does so well with him and they are best friends.  One of my favorite things of this last year has been seeing her learn how to dress herself, choose her own clothes and do her own hair.  She is probably the funniest girl in our house.  

Yosef-  My favorite time with him came a few months ago.  It was the simple act of running to me to give me a hug as I walked in the door after a 24 hour shift.  He started off this year in the orphanage for the first three and a half months.  He then would only let Heather carry him and wouldn't leave her sight.  He did not like me at all.  Seeing this transition of a bond forming between the two of us has been wonderful.  It has not always been easy, in fact it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.  

2012 was a year of transformation.  The kind of transformation that can only come by the grace of God, through the Holy Spirit.  We have been incredibly blessed to be a part of it.  We have learned what adoption really means.  We have learned about our own failures over and over again.  We have also learned that even amidst our failures our children still love us and forgive us, but better than that, our God still loves us and forgives us.  

We are looking forward to 2013 as we walk together and continue to see transformation in all our lives, but hopefully with a little less drama and stress.