Mahlet's Ups and Downs

Well, we have had our girls for over two weeks now. Things are going pretty well. We have definitely had some struggles, but overall we are so happy that they are fitting in with our family so well. They are already swapping clothes and helping each other decide what to wear each morning. It's hilarious. Clothes are everywhere, and it reminds me of five girl friends at summer camp! So fun. My favorite is seeing Adams expression when he walks in the room :)

So I started thinking that it might be kinda fun to sorta spotlight each of our girls, and how they are doing since we have taken custody of them. I am going to start with Mahlet, since she has changed the most so far.

When we first saw her picture it was heart breaking. She wasn't smiling and her whole body language just screamed "I am angry! I am hurting, and I cannot even pretend to be happy because I am so sad." In the last couple of weeks, Mahlet has really begun to turn away from that angry, sad girl that she once was. Sure, she still has bad days, or difficult moments, but she is starting to be more of a normal kid.

She especially LOVES to be held. She loves it when I rock her, or tickle her, or give her kisses. She comes to our bed each morning for some snuggle time:). Overall she has been doing really well, which is why we were surprised yesterday when she had one meltdown after another. That morning, she was happy and in good spirits. Then we went to the Transition Home to visit our boy, and after getting home it was like she was mad and quiet all the time, similar to when we first brought her home. When we looked back on our day, I began wondering if maybe the reason she was so angry was because we had visited the transition home. The first time we went back to the Transition Home after bringing the girls home, she started screaming and crying and saying she didn't want to go. When we had Eyerusalem translate why, it was because Mahlet thought that we were taking her back, like we were trying to "return" her or something! Break. My. Heart. I cannot even tell you how horrible I felt! Eventually we explained to her that we were going to the Transition Home for the Christmas party, and to see our boy. She was okay with that explanation and we moved past it.

Last night as Adam and I debriefed our day, I really started feeling like most of yesterdays meltdowns were a result of our visit in the transition home. Adam suggested we really pay attention to the next time we go for a visit, and see if a pattern develops. I hated the thought of putting her through that if she really hated going back to the transition home. This morning, when Mahlet asked if we were going to the transition home, I got the feeling that she was asking, not because she wanted to go, but because she wanted to make sure we were NOT going. I had one of the staff in our guest house translate for me to ask her if she liked going to the transition home. I didn't even need anybody to translate her response. Her body stiffened, and her lips started quivering as the puddles in her eyes began to spill over. I immediately scooped her up and held her as she sobbed. I spent several minutes holding her and reassuring her that everything would be okay, that we love her, and that we would not go back (hopefully she will not need to go back for any paperwork reasons).

I think from now on, I will go visit our boy either by myself, or with one or two of the kids, and Adam will stay at home with Mahlet and the other girls.

Getting submitted here is a process

These last couple of weeks, we have had one main goal. That is to get our girls submitted to the US embassy as quickly as possible so that they could receive their visas to come back to the US with us.

This process involves a ton of silliness. It is the stringent US rules that are forced into an Ethiopian way of doing things. This causes quite a mess and the long wait to even get submitted to the embassy after passing court.

First, you have to wait a couple of days for the court decree to be published. Though at times it could be done quicker, it is customary for it to take about 2-3 days.

Second, the court decree has to be taken to an office so that "official" birth certificates could be issued. This again takes between a couple of days and a week to accomplish. It actually went relatively fast for us considering that it was done over the Christmas holiday.

Third, you then need to take the birth certificate to the Ethiopian Immigration office to get passports done. The passports take 3 days to process. Going to the Immigration office was quite an experience. There were about 1000 people standing in a long single file line, pushed so tightly together that there was no personal space on your front or back. It took a while to realize that this line was ALL women. There was no line for men, and this was just the line to go through the security to get into the front gate. After being escorted by our agency right through the gate, we went into the office where hundreds more waited their turn. After a cordial exchange with the officers and our agency rep, we were whisked directly in front of all those waited and assisted. I really felt bad, but at the same time was happy that we were not going to have to be there for the next 8 hours. I asked why it was only women there, but I already knew the answer. It is very customary for young women in Addis to go work as a house servant in the middle East some where. We have met numerous people whose wives, or fiances, or sisters are living in the middle East working on a three year contract until they return hoping to use the money earned and establish a better life here.

After the passports are completed, you can then go and get a medical appointment. We did this today. We got a call at 8:30 this morning when we were eating breakfast, not dressed or ready to go yet and were told that the passports were ready and we could go get the medicals done. However, we were told that we should really be there at 9:00:) So we quickly got ready, had our driver come early and left. The medicals are all done at a hospital clinic. The girls did great. Everything got done that needed to get done this morning. The clinic is on the far side of the city. Our girls had to get a TB test done. So I asked about this and asked if they could just get a chest X-ray since, that is quicker and in all likelyhood, they have been exposed to TB and therefore will test positive anyways, making the X-ray required in a couple of days. This was an outrageous request. There was no possible way that this could be done. Then I was told that we would not likely have time to get the TB test done anyways. I thought that this was because it was quickly approaching lunch time, so I offered to by lunch, and then we could get the TB test done. I was then told that the TB tests are only offered from 11am-12pm and they are done at a different building. :) (Even though there are TB tests done at the clinic we were in, I saw them.) The TB tests have to be done at the office of Migration, for it to be considered good. Luckily, as we were waiting for our lab results, the nurse suggested that we had 25 minutes and we could try to get to the Migration office. This other office is 20 minutes away. Thankfully, our normally slow and cautious driver (He has only hit one goat:) realized the time crunch and got us there with a couple of minutes to spare. With the TB test done, we went back to the first clinic to finish our work there.

I go back on Thursday with the girls to get the TB test checked. I asked what paperwork I needed, and was told that I did not need anything!? What!? They apparently will remember them as they check it.

Finally, after this is all completed hopefully we will be submitted to the embassy this next Wed. I have to continue to remind myself that we are in Ethiopia and that the American way of doing things here does not work.

It is crazy to think that after being gone about 7 hours, all I really accomplished was getting most of the medical stuff done and going out to lunch.

We continue to trust in God's perfect plan and His timing. We are having a great time here and are so happy that we have taken custody of our girls.

Finding Routine Here in Ethiopia

Sorry it has been so long since we have written on our blog. For some reason, the internet here, does not let us (or anyone else as we have discovered) access our blog. Apparently, after a month, the site is working.

So much has happened since we last posted, so I will start from the beginning, and try not to be too lengthyJ

On January 4^th, we passed court for our girls, and immediately took custody of them! Their names are Eyerusalem, age 11 and Mahlet, age 7. We did not pass for our boy b/c he has a different birth father, and so his case is completely different. His case was supposed to go to court again on Jan. 9^th, but we found out that the courts were closed on the 9^th. We are trying to find it comical that they would issue us a court date on a day that they were closed. The Ethiopian Christmas was Saturday the 7^th, so they took Monday as a Holiday (which makes sense, but wouldn’t you think that they would know this and not schedule cases for that day!?! Life in EthiopiaJ!!

Since Saturday was Christmas, we did a lot of celebrating. Thursday, the Transition Home that our girls (and our boy still) were in threw a big Christmas party. The kids did a play of the Nativity story, and Eyerusalem played the part of Mary! She did an awesome job, and we are so proudJ Mahlet sang in the choir, and she did fabulous as well. They tried to have our boy play the part of baby Jesus, but he didn’t recognize his big sister in her costume, and completely freaked out! It was so cool to be able to be here to see them perform in this. They had cookies, popcorn, candy, soda, and a video for the kids. It was a very fun evening.

On Christmas Eve we went to the church in Kora that we have been visiting for a big Christmas party. Adam bought a sheep to serve as the meal, and they invited all the kids from the church and the neighborhood. This is usually the only time during the year that these kids get meat. They licked the bones clean. Literally, there was nothing left! It was great to be a part of this experience.

On Christmas, we let the kids open their little presents that we had brought for them. Then, we ordered a cake for after lunch. We had a great day hanging around our guesthouse.

For the most part things are going really well. We have definitely seen everybody’s true colorsJ. There have been a few tantrums and meltdowns, but with five kids, this will be more than normal, I am sure. We have started doing a little school with the girls as well. I am more than sure that from the outside, it looks pretty funny. We brought some schoolbooks, Pre K for London and Geneva, Kindergarten for Mahlet, and 1^st grade for Eyerusalem. With the amount of English that they know, these seem to be pretty accurate. We bring them to our dining room table, and everybody sits around working on their books. Adam and I are reading instructions for each of them, and it’s basically craziness. A good craziness though. Mahlet is really showing improvement in just a few days. For someone who said she didn’t like school, she is often the last one at the table, still working!

Another thing that takes up a good chunk of our days several times a week is laundry. While the guesthouse will do our laundry, for a relatively cheap price, when staying for an extended period, (and with 7 people) it would be quite expensive. So, Adam bought a couple of buckets for six bucks and we spend an hour and a half every other day doing our laundry. It’s labor intensive, but worth the savings. Plus, I have 5 happy helpers, who just love to get in, get wet, and scrub clothesJ

All in all, our lives have slowed down considerably, and we are really enjoying the time to simply be with our kids and get to know them. Since I don’t have any cooking or cleaning to do, I have time to really read my Bible, pray, and spend time playing with my kids! I’ve even been able to practice doing Eyerusalem and Mahlet’s hair. It’s been a wonderful opportunity to attach to our girls, here in their home country. Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Top Ten Favorite things about the Cheney's Christmas in Ethiopia:

1. We awoke to homemade cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven! They were DELICIOUS:), especially since I (Heather) didn't have to make them, or do the dishes:)

2. The staff made us homemade cookies, which were fabulous. I am attributing the cookies extra fabulousness to the fact that they had PURE cane sugar in them. You could actually SEE the sugar granules in the cookies. SO good!

3. Getting the girls Christmas pictures taken out on the street in front of somebody's blue door. This super sweet little girl came over and stood there watching us. At first I thought maybe we were taking pictures in front of her house. But no, she was just wondering why on earth these silly Americans would want their pictures taken in front of this random house with a blue door.

4. The church in the Kora village. The poorest people I have EVER seen, yet they have SUCH a love for Christ! This was a humbling experience for me. I think too many days at home I tend to feel sorry for myself. I begin comparing myself and what I (don't) have with everyone else around me. I complain that my shoes are too old and too beat up, etc., etc., etc. But you know what? At church this morning, I was wearing the same clothes and shoes that I often wear to church at home, and nobody noticed or cared. In fact, I didn't even notice or care. You know why? Because every other person at church this morning wasn't worried about the clothes on their back. They could have (justifiably) been worried about where their next meal would come from, but even that seemed to take a back seat while they worshiped our almighty God.

5. Watching Capri LOVE on the babies at church. Poor Capri gets hugged and kissed everywhere we go. It's like she is this thing that people just cannot keep their hands off of. They just want to know what she feels like. Whether we are going to church, to the market, to the Transition Home to see our kids, or even here at our Guest House. She is the one everyone (men women and children alike) wants to give a squeeze to. She HATES it, but has learned to tolerate it, without much fussing:). At church though, she got to give some hugs away to the babies.

6. Listening to squeals of laughter from London, Geneva, and Capri as they played with the staff here at the Guest House. They have really warmed up to some of the people that work here. It's so cute to see our girls outside playing soccer with the guards:).

7. Seeing our kids light up as we got to the Transition Home today for our visit. We had a really great day with them. We even picked out middle names for at least two of our kids:) Our oldest picked her own, (but we really like it) and she LOVES it! SO cute:) We are trying to come up with city middle names for our younger two...

8. Finally getting Words With Friends downloaded onto our ipad:) I know, such a trivial little thing, but still, something to help the time go by...

9. Going out to dinner and getting to pick whatever I wanted to eat.

10. Watching Adam drink his "milkshake" that he ordered. First of all, he ordered chocolate, it was vanilla. Second of all, it wasn't an American milkshake (loaded with ice cream:) it was milk shaken (with some vanilla flavoring added to it:). So, basically Adam ordered himself a glass of milk to go with his dinner (and he doesn't even like milk:)...

Hope you all had as great of a Christmas as we did!

Blessings to Everyone!

You know you are in Africa....

When you wake up to the smell of burning trash mixed with incense. (I love it by the way)

When you would rather give your children a glass of soda versus the water or milk that might be served.

When you have to carry toilet paper not just to the bathroom, but everywhere you go.

When "free range" takes on new meaning as you see goats being herded down the highway.

When your children can get corn rows in the hair for a nominal cost.

When you wake to the sounds of prayers being called out from all over the city before the sun comes up. (I love this as well)

When the chicken you eat, is as tough as steak, and the steak.... well it is ground up.

When the power goes out just about daily. (excluding the rolling blackouts of California:)

When you can pick your nose freely in public or go pee right along the street.

When you can get good coffee for less than a dollar or a caramel mocha for about a buck ten. (Heather's favorite:)

When you can get the freshest roasted coffee, roasted over an open fire that is brought inside the house. (no smoke detectors were set off here:)

When none of the streets are really named, and those that are go by 3-4 different names.

When your blond haired, white children stand out super easily in the crowds.

When pedestrians have no rights. Watch OUT the car is not going to stop!

When dogs are treated like dogs, and not little humans that bark. Dogs are mostly not fed, they are scavengers, and you know what? There are still a ton of them alive.

When goats are carried on your back, or dragged along as the owner holds one leg.

When everything is done by hand, laundry, cutting wood, tearing down buildings, cooking, recycling concrete with a sledge hammer.

When your house has a solid metal gate, a guard, and barbed wire. Yet you feel safer here than in many parts of San Jose.

When it is more common to see kids playing with a flat soccer ball than a full one.

When poverty abounds, yet it is vibrant, colorful and full of life.

There is more to come, I am sure.

Adam's gut feeling vs. MY gut feeling...

Today was by far the BEST day here so far! First, we went to tour a coffee factory this morning. I will never take a cup of coffee for granted again. The amount of work that goes into each little bean is incredible. After the tour, we went to get a cup of coffee. Adam and I each got a macchiato, and oh yes, London had her first (1/4 of a cup:) as well! She is definitely gonna be a little coffee drinker:). After the coffee tour, we went to lunch, and then to visit our kids.

This is where the best part comes in. First off, I got to sit and read with our middle child, which was SO precious. She is still learning English, and so we were working on learning to read the BOB books. Since she doesn't speak or understand very much English, this is one of the first real bonding moments I have had with her. Then, with all 5 of our girls we pulled out some yarn and plastic stitching squares. The girls had SO much fun with that. It was great to see them all enjoying the same thing. And, it was the first time we were doing something as a family. Our youngest had just woken up at this point, so I was feeding him his bottle. Once he finished his bottle, Adam took him for awhile, and as he left with him I smiled and waved. And he smiled and waved right back!!! OH BE STILL MY HEART!!!! He was all smiles and giggles today. For the first time, I had him laughing! With every smile and giggle I could feel him trusting me more and more, and I could feel myself falling more and more in love.

Here's the problem. Adam does not want to make a final decision yet about whether we should stay here in Ethiopia and wait it out or go home, but right now his gut feeling is telling him that we are going to need to go home. MY gut feeling on the other hand, is telling me, that in 3 weeks, (when our kids are even more attached to us, and I am even MORE attached to them), I am not going to be able to leave OUR KIDS behind in an orphanage half way across the world!!

PLEASE keep praying for us as we try to figure out what to do. Right now Adam and I are tossing around different scenarios, trying to come up with different possibilities. If any of you have any suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Today is a HARD day. This morning was court date #2. We were just waiting for one piece of paper, a letter, stating that all of our information was good, and that the judge could legally grant us custody of our kids. The letter did not come. We did NOT pass. And now, to add fuel to the fire, our agency must go collect a whole lot more information. They need more proof that our kids are orphans. They must go find any living relatives and interview them and have them relinquish their rights.

We now have TWO new court dates. The first is for our two older ones, on January 3rd. The other is for our youngest one, on January 9th. This came as a HUGE blow. We have now been delayed almost a month from our first court date. When our two older ones found out that we did not pass, and that it would still be another 3 weeks before our next court date, they started crying. It is incredibly hard for our family to visit our kids in the transition home. It is tiring and emotionally draining every day.

Adam and I don't know what to do. We had already decided that if we didn't pass court today, we would really have to think about whether or not we should go home early (and not take custody of our kids). We decided that either way we would stay thru Ethiopia's Christmas (which is January 7th). We really want to celebrate it with our kids, plus our oldest is in her schools Christmas play that day, and is playing the part of Mary!!! (My mama's heart could not be more proud:).

So, now we are asking all of you out there to PLEASE PRAY!! We don't know if we should come home around January 10th, (and then return to Ethiopia anywhere from 4-12 weeks later) or take custody of our kids, and just trust and Pray that God will get us home on February 10th. Our tickets are for Feb. 10th, and it costs about $300/per ticket (x8) to change them. I keep reminding myself that God knows all of this. But, still not sure if that means that we should stay or go and then come back. Adam can only stay here until the end of February.

Today has made me incredibly homesick. I've done really well up until this point.

Though at times it is difficult, we continue to trust in God's perfect timing and the fact that this does not surprise Him. May He be glorified in all we do. Thank you for you continued prayers and for all of the support that we have been receiving.

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!..." Psalm 34:8