My heart is breaking

I guess I should preface this by saying that a few weeks ago in my Bible study group, I asked people to pray that I would begin to develop a bond for our baby.
Okay, so when Adam and I started talking, praying, and wondering if we should start the adoption process, our pastor began a sermon series in the book of James. We believed that this was not a coincidence, but that this was very timely. We have finished studying James, but we still find that many of the sermons feel relevant to us, in our adoption process.
Well, todays sermon was no exception. The passage was Matthew 9:36-38. He talked about the good news of the Bible, and how we often do not act like we really believe it IS good news. We shy away from telling our friends about Christ, we do not go seek the lost. We are content to live in our comfortable house, with our comfortable family and have a comfortable life. But, Jesus never said that we were sent to this earth to live comfortably.
In the sermon, the speaker described horrific conditions for people living in various parts of the world. People using their toilet water to cook, wash clothes and dishes and bathe, and children being sold into sexual slavery. And here we are living our comfortable life. I of course began to cry. I thought of our child, our baby, not being properly taken care of. Not being cared for as well as we care for our dog! (Which trust me, isn't even all that much anymore). I began to think about when we were wondering whether or not God was calling us to adopt. And then I laughed at myself for having even questioned that. Because of course He is! He doesn't care that I don't have it all together. He doesn't care that we are upside down in our finances. He is asking us to trust Him, that He will take care of us and provide for our EVERY need!
After todays sermon, I feel like I have taken a huge step in building a bond with our child. I can't explain it except to say that my heart is breaking that our baby is living on the other side of the world and not being well taken care of. God has answered my prayers though. I can't even talk about our baby without crying anymore but I couldn't be happier :)