Two weeks home already!

I can't believe that we have been home for 2 weeks already. Wow, the time has gone by fast. So here is a recap on the last 2 weeks and how we are progressing at this point.

Day one started out at 6am which was really better than expected. We took the kids to Costco that day. We tried to prepare them for it as we described what it was like. They asked us if it was bigger than the Shoa Supermarket in Addis? Which is big by ET standards but barely bigger than most truck stops along the highway. We laughed and told them to just wait. There have been a lot of wide eyes and tons and tons of questions. I have to continually remind myself that the questions really aren't because they are trying to be annoying but really because they don't know what an RV is or what a Home Depot is.

We took them on a trip to San Francisco and went to the zoo, the Golden Gate bridge and Pier 39. They were fine in the big city, and were amazed at the street performers. It was also their first time to see the beach and play in the sand. One of our girls got her shoes wet as she wasn't quick enough to get away from the wave coming at her. Some things you just have to learn on your own.

We re-started school at home on Monday. We took a couple weeks spring break while we traveled and adjusted. However, our girls were getting so bored at home that they kept asking us to start school:) We kept telling them that it was our spring break as well and they needed to go and play outside. I think that it was a good thing for them to get bored and want to be doing school again as it was getting very difficult to get it done with good attitudes in ET.

Eyerusalem learned how to ride a bike by the 2nd day that we were home. Mahlet has learned how to ride one as well, but is afraid at this point to let me take off the training wheels. Yosef is now very comfortable in our house and runs around causing havoc everywhere he goes.

We have overcome many food issues! This is awesome, since with six kids we really can't be Burger King and give it to them their way everyday. About a week ago, Mahlet still would not even taste her slow-cooked chicken, drenched in BBQ sauce that sat on her plate. So I finally said, "Okay, what kind of dessert will it take? What do you want bad enough that you are willing to put 2 bites of that chicken in your mouth and eat it without throwing it back up?" Ice cream with chocolate syrup it was! She literally has gone months with no dessert while the other kids have all gotten stuff, that she just didn't care about. We also have constantly told her that the meat here in the US is different than the meat in ET. (It is... mostly.) She has now eaten chicken and pork! She is still the last one at the table, but at least she is eating it. Yesterday, we all got tired of waiting for her that we got up, finished the dishes and she was still eating!

We also have used the same argument with Eyerus. She claims that her b-day is on Sept. 29th, which would make her 12. However, her birth certificate is for June 7th, which makes her still 11. We are going to keep her young for as long as possible, so we aren't going to change it. As she often argued about it, (for sure, she is a pre-teen) I told her that it must be because they use a different calendar in ET than we do in the US, so we are both right:) So 11 she will remain, at least for a few more months.

We have also seen a huge improvement over the last 3 months in their English. It is really encouraging to see. Yosef has about a 20 word English vocabulary now as well. Though he still grunts and screams for everything he wants.

The kids went to the dentist today. I have not heard yet how that went, but my guess is not good. Really, really, really not good. It is a shame the sugar and the sodas that are given to kids in an orphanage. Especially without dental care, it is just ruining the kids teeth. I really think that the gifts that are given to the kids for a short term smile really cause a lot more damage than people realize. I do mean all the gifts, but that is for another day.

When we went to ET we did not think that we would have been there for 4 months, but I am so glad that we stayed. Had we known that it would be that long, we probably would have thought that staying was out of the question, but it was so, so worth it. We had a great time staying there. We stayed at the Ethiopia Guest House and they took great care of us. I would highly recommend it to any adoptive families going to ET. The staff there is amazing and really has become our friends. We definitely felt at home.

We have started to find our new normal. That normal is LOUD, and CRAZY but it is normal now. The other day, we only had the "old" three girls playing inside. Yosef was napping, and the older girls were out riding bikes. Heather and I both thought, "this used to be hard????" It just feels normal now for us to count 6 kids everywhere we go, and for everyone to do a double take and then say, "you have your hands full." Someone asked me how we do it, my reply was, "I have learned to count quicker:)"

Truthfully, God and His sovereign grace is abounding on us. He is giving us patience and love more so than we ever could have thought. We really did not experience much jet lag. Things are going along well. We still have our share of issues, though the tantrums don't last as long as they used to. Yosef is starting to let me hold him a little without screaming the entire time. We are starting to have a much better time between him and I. He has never had a father figure around, or even a male figure. All his nannies were women and it is really hard for him to get used to having a male around. It is understandable, but difficult.

As we started school yesterday, I laid out the rules for our kids. Rule #1 is that we glorify God in ALL that we do. We want our kids to get an education that is well rounded and that is focused on what is truly important.

I have been reflecting on this whole process and I am amazed as I look back and see ALL the ways that the Holy Spirit has been working. He has been leading us, keeping us focused on the Almighty God and living our lives in a way that brings Him glory. The Holy Spirit is still leading our lives, He is still directing us. Our story is not yet over.... I look forward to where He leads us next.

How should we give?

I have been wrestling with the idea of giving a lot lately. I am not sure that I have really landed anywhere, but I really question how we as a family give things away now. Being in ET has really brought the question to the forefront on numerous occasions for us.

There are three books that have really changed my philosophy on giving lately. I read, "When Helping Hurts," a while ago and I am currently reading, "Toxic Charity." Both of these really question the way that I have done things in the past. Also, I am continually reading the Bible, which address giving on numerous different levels.

Giving should help and empower. However, often it doesn't do that. Also, as Christians our giving should really have a focus on furthering God's kingdom.

I think that one of the best ways to accomplish this is by supporting and giving to different missionaries that are working on the front lines, spreading the Gospel and helping communities more holistically.

Another way of giving is by supporting peoples real businesses. Though it has cost us a ton to stay here in ET for so long, one of the things that makes it easier to swallow the cost is knowing where the money is going. By staying in this guest house we are supporting, 2 guards, 2 cooks, 2 cleaners, 3 receptionists. We also have supported a driver fairly often. As we go to the local markets and bakeries and fruit stands we are helping support the community in real ways, by purchasing things from them locally. I know that one of our guards used to rummage through the garbage dump prior to getting this job. I love knowing that I am helping support a secure job that helps his daughter go to school and have enough food to eat. Paying for this guest house is one of the best ways we can support and get to know people on a longer basis.

I don't like hand-outs. The hard part is knowing when to give to someone asking and when not to. It is not always wise to help sustain someones begging. I guess that is where we have to pray for wisdom and guidance on how to handle the different situations.

Like I said, I really haven't landed anywhere. It is a question that keeps confronting me lately though and has been on my mind a lot.

I have a long way to go.

For the sake of honesty, this is how selfish and lazy I (Adam) can be....

I always carry a bunch of 1 birr notes in my pocket to hand out to those in need and those begging any time I go out. I always make sure to have some, as I want to give them freely to those in need, and I often find someone that is begging. (Though, there really aren't a ton in the are that we are living) For comparison, it is 17 birr to $1. Which makes a birr about 5 or 6 cents. 1 Birr is enough to be able to purchase a good sized roll or a small banana. I rarely hand out more than a few birr in a day, yet it is considerably more than the average amount that the beggars receive. I give it to them in the name of Jesus and keep on my way. I am not really breaking the bank here, and I know that. However, it is not meant to be a sustainable way of living for those in need, it really is to just help them with their next meal.

Today, I was walking home, after buying some bread at the bakery and I saw a man sitting on the ground, on the other side of the road. He had his jacket lying on the dirt, and a couple of coins sitting on the jacket. He was obviously begging, though he did not specifically ask me for anything. So I figured, well, he is on the other side of the road and he really didn't see me or ask me for anything so I don't need to go and give him anything. So I didn't. I still can't believe I would be so selfish with 5 cents! It is God's money in the first place, not mine! I continued on my way totally ignoring him. He was across the street, but I was basically walking in the middle of the street and the street is smaller than a normal sized residential street. Really, it is basically an alley. He was about 10' from me!

I kept walking. My hand in my pocket feeling the 1 birr coins jingling around as I walked.

My inner voice was nagging at me as I kept coming up with lame excuses why I shouldn't and couldn't go back to him now that I am so far past him.

After about two blocks, the nagging inside of my head finally won and I turned around. I made my way back to him, dropped a coin on his dirty jacket and blessed him. As I type this, the story of the good samaritan keeps coming to mind. Which one was I? Not the one I should be.

I have a long way to go. Jesus lead me.

Our children's home....

Let me preface this story with one thing. I could not have made this up or embellished it, even if I tried!

We took a trip with all of our kids today to go to Girge. Girge is a small village area of Addis Ababa, which is where Eyerusalem and Mahlet grew up. Their house is about 1/2 mile off the road, on a very rocky and hilly trail. It was kinda like hiking. There were houses all around, trash was everywhere and the village was full of people. As we arrived we obviously stood out seeing as very few firenge's (white people) travel into the neighborhood of Girge. (Though I think we stand out everywhere!) Even as we got out of the car, family friends came to greet our kids. One of the ladies came back to meet us an hour later with five or six old photos of our kids which we treasure!

We made our way to the house, with a trail of people behind us. Their house is in a very hilly area, I lost track of how many times Capri tumbled over due to the uneven terrain. It is a mud house, about 8' by 8' with a tin roof. It was very basic, four walls and a roof, but I think that it mostly kept them out of the weather. Inside of the house, Eyerusalem started to have a very heated discussion with a few of the neighbors and we really weren't sure what was going on as nobody was translating for us. We found out later that she was mad that someone else was living inside of the house. (They have been out of it for almost a year now.)

After many greeting and pictures, we started to head back to the car and were saying our goodbyes. We walked a little ways down the trail when the man Eyerus was having the discussion with, invited us into his home. We came to find out that this man, in his early 40's took really good care of our kids, and was a very good family friend. By this time, it was almost lunch, the smaller kids were hungry and it was getting hot. Our driver was waiting and we were ready to go get something to eat. Heather, and our smaller kids were actually about 50 yards ahead of me and had to return to accept the invitation. Eyerus, asked how much time we had, and I told her 10 minutes knowing that it would be at least 30 minutes after coffee or tea.

We graciously accepted the invitation and headed inside the mud house. This one though had a couch and a couple of chairs. Almost as if they had already planned it, piping hot tea was brought out. As a non tea drinker it was very good. I am sure it was loaded with sugar! They offered the smaller girls some, and as I was declining for them, London grabbed a cup and started to drink. I am hoping and praying that she doesn't get sick. I finished my cup, had another and then drank Geneva's cup. At about this time, they brought out a plate full of bread. It was good bread, but would have been nice to slab it with butter or something. Then, they asked if we would take injera. Sure, why not? I know that Eyerus and Mahlet wanted some. So, a HUGE plate of injera with some fixings was brought out as well. We ate a good lunch, our girls were stuffed, (all except Geneva and Capri, who still don't like injera) More tea was served, and my cup was rinsed in between servings in a pot of water that I pray won't give me the runs.

After the 3rd cup of tea, we got down to business.... The girls house was apparently owned by their mother, who is now deceased. So, we were asked if we would like to live in it right now instead of paying for the guest house! Wow! Think of all the money that we could save! I was trying to make sure that I was really understanding what was going on since Eyerus was the one translating what the friend was saying. We politely declined stating that we are already set up at our guest house and we would be leaving Ethiopia soon.

It gets better... Since our kids mother died, she technically left the house to them. Now that we are their parents, it has apparently become our asset! WE ARE HOME OWNERS HERE IN ADDIS!!!!! Who knew???? So, we were asked what we want done with all the money that they have been collecting in rent. It rents for 150 Birr a month which is about $10. The money has been put into a savings account and they have been waiting for the kids to return (years down the road) to reclaim it. There was discussion for about 10 minutes while we really tried to clarify all that was going on. In the end, we told him that it was a matter of prayer. We told him that right now, we want him to rent it free of charge to street kids who really don't have anywhere else to go. We also directed him to rent it to "positive" widows with kids that might need a place to stay.

We prayed, gave each other blessings and headed out on our way. New homeowners:)

By the way, we got back to our guest house and both I and Eyerusalem told a translator our versions of what happened there and she said that I had the story exactly right, nothing was lost in the translation.

I choose "No Fear"

The popular shirts of the 1990's used to boldly say, "No Fear!" Then, I wore them WAY too much, today I claim it.

At the end of January, three days before I (Adam) was getting ready to return to the US, London got VERY sick. We took her to the clinic after she had a temperature of 105F that was not controlled with Tylenol, Motrin and a cold bath. Luckily, the doctor was able to diagnose her with Typhus. (Which is different than Typhoid fever) Typhus used to be known as jail fever and prior to antibiotics had a mortality rate of almost 50%. Luckily, we had access to antibiotic injections (which were torturous for all involved.) I took her to get her last shot, still with a fever about an hour before I told Heather and the girls goodbye as I left to the airport. It was during a 4 day period, we found out we didn't pass court for Yosef, we weren't submitted to embassy, we had a TON of money stolen and we determined that I had to return to the US.

After doing some research on Typhus we were able to determine that London contracted it via a flea bite (that had bitten a rat) from a very poor area. This poor area, known as Kora is where we go to church. Typhus takes 3 weeks to incubate and doing our math we realized that this was exactly when we decided to take our girls to do some home visits in this area, to pray with and bless those that never can make it to church. London got bit by fleas in the process, as Satan was already planning an attack against us. Prior to going to Kora, I made a conscious decision to take my children into the area. I recognized and knew there might be some risks, but I knew that this is where the Lord was leading us. So we went. The night that I realized how sick London was due to our being there, it made me sick. I brought her in there. I brought her into this spiritual war and she paid a price for it. I stayed up really late that night, praying into the night, refusing to let Satan win. To God be the glory in ALL things.

This coming Monday, we have been given the opportunity to go back to the Kora village and encourage and support some of the widows there. We are going to the Mission Ethiopia area where the women work and make necklaces to sell, so that they can support their families, give their kids an education, and support more of the neighborhood all around them, in the name of Jesus Christ. You can see a video of where we are going HERE! I encourage you to watch it. It took us 5 hours to download here and I am glad that I did. I just showed it to all of our kids. They are all super excited to go and visit the women and see how the necklaces are made.

I am not hesitant to take our kids back there on Monday. I trust in God's sovereign provision and I trust that He cares for my family more than I do. I will not let Satan win. In Christ, I have "No Fear." I will however, go with more prayer than before. I am excited about this opportunity to go into this village again and see Christ work, especially amongst my children. I trust that my family has been and will continue to be covered in prayer through our time here. This is one of the ways that you can pray for us. Another BIG prayer request is that on Thursday, the girls uncle is supposed to go to the Embassy for an interview and we are hoping to be cleared on that day. This will allow us to make our April 3rd flights home!!!

If anyone would like one of the magazine necklaces or clay necklaces seen in the video, send us a message and we will buy them and bring them back for you to buy. The cost is $10 each. Also, specify which kind you would like, clay or magazine.

Entitled

Entitled: A verb; to stake or put claim to something.

One of, if not the hardest thing that we have dealt with in our adoption of two older girls has been entitlement issues. (The other top two issues have been school issues and food issues.) I think that it is so hard for Heather and I to deal with as we just don't really understand it all. So, I have been reflecting on entitlement.

How is it that our girls who came from an orphanage without even their own pair of clothes and just a half full backpack of random items, (such as a 1/2 deck of cards and a few pictures) can now demand SO much. They each had a suitcase of items waiting for them at our guesthouse upon their arrival, including a pair of new shoes. Now, every time we walk past a shoe store we are bombarded with questions about why we won't go and buy them 5 more pairs of shoes! They feel entitled to more. We have given them everything for nothing in return. Nothing that they have done deserves the gifts that they have received, the love that they have been given and the opportunities that will await them. We choose them anyway.

We know not to expect our new kids to feel thankful or grateful, but it is incredibly difficult when you feel like you have now given them more than they need and yet still they are not satisfied with it. They demand more. They might say thank you in the moment, but the moment is fleeting.

I really could go on and on about different entitlement issues that we have dealt with. Trust me, it has been a HUGE issue.

However, I have come to realize that as difficult as it is to deal with, we are ALL guilty of feeling entitled. We feel entitled to:

The right to peace.

The right to prosperity.

Our civil rights.

The right to fast internet.

The right to freedom of speech.

The right to worship how and whom we want.

The right to three meals a day. (at nice places)

The right to take a nice vacation.

The right to buy the newest phones.

The right to have the bigger house.

Etc, etc, etc, etc.

We (myself included) feel so entitled to many, many things. Many of these issues come up and have to be dealt with when you are in a foreign land with a different culture.

As a follower of Christ I have to continually remind myself that I am not entitled to these things. I need to continually re-evaluate my priorities and what is important in my life. I have to often remind myself that I am not entitled to receive any of these things. There is nothing that I have, nor nothing that I can do that earns or deserves the love of Christ. Yet, He lavishly pours it out on me.

Titus 3:4-7

"(4)But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Saviour appeared, (5) he saved us, NOT because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to HIS own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, (6) whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Saviour, (7) so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

I have done NOTHING to earn his grace, nothing!

I am entitled to NOTHING!

I pray that I can remember this, and that I can teach my children it as well:)

Adoption thoughts...

We have heard just about every question there is when it comes to our adoption and we really want to be an open book so that God will be glorified in our lives and what He is doing in us.

Here are some of the questions, and answers:

What are you thinking? Didn't you already have three kids?

Yeah... sometimes Heather and I ask ourselves this question. Having a family of 6 kids, four of whom are adopted never really was a part of "our" plan. We for SURE have a crazy life now! Actually, our lives felt crazy before this adoption. We felt like there was no way we can do this. (we still can't apart from Christ) Though this never was our plan, it was God's plan all along. As we look back towards the ways that He brought us here it is clear that this was His plan for us. So, what were we thinking? We want to follow Jesus Christ with our whole lives. For us, this meant adopting these three beautiful kids. Who knows what His plan is for you, it is not likely adopting three kids. Though I will say, to give Christ your life, means that you give Him your plans and His plans might entail adopting three kids. :)

If we could do it over again different would we?

Again, this question is fairly similar. The reality is that we can't. So, there is no use in wasting time thinking that we could do it different. However, the answer is a resounding NO! We would not want to do it any different. It was incredibly hard getting into a taxi, leaving 5 children with Heather, two of whom were really sick, in a foreign country. Saying goodbye to them and watching them all cry so much was by far, the most difficult thing Heather and I have had to endure. The hardest part was really not knowing when I would return. This time that we have had here in ET now has been an incredible time for our family. It has allowed us to show our girls how much we love them, a small version of the love that Christ has for us, his adopted children. We, (Heather especially) have been able to bond with them here in their own surroundings, in an area that is somewhat familiar for them, before whisking them across the earth to a place called California. I don't want to do the time apart again though, (I have let God know that many times:) Our time apart allowed Heather's parents to be able to come and help and it allowed me to be able to work some overtime to help cover some of the increased costs. If we had known months ago that we would be here for 4 months total, I am not sure that we would have done it. This is where following Jesus has really come in. We haven't been able to see the path laid out far ahead of us, but only one step at a time. So we have taken that one step at a time, and He continues to lead us in the right path.

Is adoption hard?

HECK YEAH IT IS HARD! I don't want to sugar coat anything, encouraging others to adopt without really knowing what is in store. It is incredibly hard to love someone who doesn't appreciate it. (Once again, kinda like Jesus does for us) Our girls don't trust us fully yet, they still aren't sure that we won't just take them back to the orphanage. Who can blame them? We have to constantly ask for grace, patience and for an increased amount of love. Our girls are 11 and 7, yet emotionally they are like 5 and 3. Educationally, they are around the 1st grade and kindergarten levels. Add that to the language barrier, and the fact that they don't trust our love yet. This makes things challenging at best. Tantrums are the routine. Even after a couple of months, we both feel like adopting older children and bringing them into our home is considerably harder than all three times we brought a new born into the home, (with the hourly feedings and everything). Emotionally, and physically it is taxing! The harder it is, the more we realize the deep needs they have and we are honored that God has chosen us to be the ones to meet them. The other day, our 11 year old told Heather how much she appreciated us adopting all three of them and London as well. She said that she is sorry for the hard times that she gives us. They do bring a smile to our faces. Someday, hopefully, she will start to act out that appreciation:)

You guys are amazing! (This is mostly in the form of a statement as opposed to a question)

Ummm, No! We are not. We lose our tempers with them, we yell at them, we often find ourselves short on patience. We are doing our best, but we are not doing anything super "good" or super "Christian". We are just doing what we have been asked to do. That is all. We NEVER would have done this on our own accord. We only do this, as we try to become more and more a follower of Christ, and learn what that means. Sometimes, that means that He is going to want us to do things that we would otherwise think is crazy. Never, ever ever does Jesus claim that following Him is easy. In fact, He tells us that it is hard, that it is the road less traveled. This is where we cling to Him, and have joy that He is ALL we need.

There have been plenty of other questions, but maybe I will answer those at another time. For now, we love the life that we have been called to. It may be one crazy, hard life right now, but it is our life and we love it! Please don't think that I am complaining one bit. We knew what we were getting into, (mostly.) As I once again get to listen to the morning prayers in the distance, my girls are all going to wake up in about 30 minutes, come downstairs for breakfast and find me sitting here waiting for them!! Last night, two hours before I got here, they sent me messages on Skype telling me that I need to just get on a plane right now and get here:) Well, it worked!