One month home!

Wow! I can't believe that it was only one month ago that we were landing at the SFO airport, dog tired, trying to hold things together for just a little bit longer.  Towing 6 kids along, over thousands of miles, a couple of layovers, and 20 hours of flying, I had done really, really well.  That is until the end.  There was a one hour delay in Frankfurt that we knew would cause our trip to be one hour too long.  Sure enough, we were right.  The last hour was just bad.  It started when one of our children waited until our lunch (the fourth lunch in the same day) came that she told me she had to go pee.  I had just asked her minutes before.  When we were in the bathroom, one of our other daughters spilt my and her food.  It was pasta.  With marinara.  All over my seat and the ground.  I covered it up with one of the free blankets and just figured that the airline was stupid to feed a child red pasta while flying.  By the time that we landed, I think that 3 of our children were crying.  Full blown crying.  Some jerk and his family cut in front of us in immigration, making us the very last ones there.  Yosef had a BAD poopy diaper, yet we can't just bypass immigration.  It took 45 minutes for the officials to process all of our paperwork, while the kids tried to sit quietly on the floor.  By the time we got to our baggage, all 10 of our bags were sitting on the side of the conveyer belt together and were the only bags in site.  The place was very empty.  We all had to go to the bathroom by this point.  (Remember the diaper and the red pasta incident.)  While the kids were going to the bathroom, Heather was somehow able to help all of them change and brush their teeth, to try to get rid of that "we've been traveling for a day and a half" kind of smell.  I put all of our bags on 2 carts, it was like I was constructing the great pyramids.  It was a thing of beauty, perfectly balanced, with all of our kids carry-ons, tied to the sides.  Two carts, one for me, and one for Heather, to eliminate the kids fighting over who gets to crash it into people.  We were all trying to put on our happy faces, trying to hide the fact that we were tired, grumpy, hungry and ready to be home.  It was at this point that the customs officer directed us the the conveyer belt for ALL of our bags to be X-rayed.  Now, I have never had to X-ray my bags on my way home, they just ask a few questions and sent you right around the machines, out to freedom.  I just looked at him, as we were the only ones around.  I stared blankly at him and said, "Really! Really!  You are going to make me disassemble all of these bags and put them through that stupid machine with all of my kids here?"  Well, yes he was.  Twenty minutes later, knowing that our family might not even be waiting outside anymore, I quickly reconstructed my luggage pyramid.  I moved 5 feet and then it all came crashing to the ground!  It was at this point that I lost it.  I am not proud of the way that I acted and I am not proud of the attitude that developed at this point.

I tell this story, for a couple of reasons.  One, because now that it is over I can laugh at it.  Two, because there have been many instances like this one over the last month that I am just not proud of.

I know that God is using these difficult times to work on me.  To draw me closer to Him.  It is in these times that I have to fully rely on God.  I have to give Him my problems, and stress and let Him work through me.  I don't have enough patience for our kids right now.  But, God does.  He gives it to me.  I don't have enough grace for our kids right now.  But, God does.  He gives that to me as well.  I have repeatedly failed, miserably at times.  However, God continues to give me the energy and the patience and the love that I need for all of our children.  It is right when I really need it that He reminds me of the past that our kids have had.  The past that I would not ever wish for anyone.  The past that involves losing their parents and having to be adopted.  Getting taken away from their own country, culture, language, foods and getting plopped into the overly abundant material world of the silicon valley.  I remember why Christ led us to them in the first place.

This month has had many ups and downs.  Many tantrums, by all of the kids.  Many laughs and giggles and excitement from them as well.  We are all adjusting to our new normal.  It feels normal now having 6 kids.  When one or two kids are napping or outside, it feels too easy.  We are learning more and more about our 3 new kids.  They are getting more and more used to us.  Yosef, is probably the hardest one that is going to attach to us and is a few months behind in the process than his sisters.  Attachment is a process.  It takes time.  It is difficult, very difficult at times.  It takes a conscious decision to choose love.    The kind of love that only comes from the Holy Spirit.  It doesn't come from within me.  I know.  There have been too many times that it is just not there.

How would I sum up this month.  Progress.  We are making progress, trying to do the best that we can. We are giving everything that we've got right now.  Each night, after the kids are in bed (early) we crash.  We wind down so that we can do it all again tomorrow.  I wouldn't ask for anything else.  I love our new normal.  I love our new family of 8.  I love seeing how Christ is working in us.

Two weeks home already!

I can't believe that we have been home for 2 weeks already. Wow, the time has gone by fast. So here is a recap on the last 2 weeks and how we are progressing at this point.

Day one started out at 6am which was really better than expected. We took the kids to Costco that day. We tried to prepare them for it as we described what it was like. They asked us if it was bigger than the Shoa Supermarket in Addis? Which is big by ET standards but barely bigger than most truck stops along the highway. We laughed and told them to just wait. There have been a lot of wide eyes and tons and tons of questions. I have to continually remind myself that the questions really aren't because they are trying to be annoying but really because they don't know what an RV is or what a Home Depot is.

We took them on a trip to San Francisco and went to the zoo, the Golden Gate bridge and Pier 39. They were fine in the big city, and were amazed at the street performers. It was also their first time to see the beach and play in the sand. One of our girls got her shoes wet as she wasn't quick enough to get away from the wave coming at her. Some things you just have to learn on your own.

We re-started school at home on Monday. We took a couple weeks spring break while we traveled and adjusted. However, our girls were getting so bored at home that they kept asking us to start school:) We kept telling them that it was our spring break as well and they needed to go and play outside. I think that it was a good thing for them to get bored and want to be doing school again as it was getting very difficult to get it done with good attitudes in ET.

Eyerusalem learned how to ride a bike by the 2nd day that we were home. Mahlet has learned how to ride one as well, but is afraid at this point to let me take off the training wheels. Yosef is now very comfortable in our house and runs around causing havoc everywhere he goes.

We have overcome many food issues! This is awesome, since with six kids we really can't be Burger King and give it to them their way everyday. About a week ago, Mahlet still would not even taste her slow-cooked chicken, drenched in BBQ sauce that sat on her plate. So I finally said, "Okay, what kind of dessert will it take? What do you want bad enough that you are willing to put 2 bites of that chicken in your mouth and eat it without throwing it back up?" Ice cream with chocolate syrup it was! She literally has gone months with no dessert while the other kids have all gotten stuff, that she just didn't care about. We also have constantly told her that the meat here in the US is different than the meat in ET. (It is... mostly.) She has now eaten chicken and pork! She is still the last one at the table, but at least she is eating it. Yesterday, we all got tired of waiting for her that we got up, finished the dishes and she was still eating!

We also have used the same argument with Eyerus. She claims that her b-day is on Sept. 29th, which would make her 12. However, her birth certificate is for June 7th, which makes her still 11. We are going to keep her young for as long as possible, so we aren't going to change it. As she often argued about it, (for sure, she is a pre-teen) I told her that it must be because they use a different calendar in ET than we do in the US, so we are both right:) So 11 she will remain, at least for a few more months.

We have also seen a huge improvement over the last 3 months in their English. It is really encouraging to see. Yosef has about a 20 word English vocabulary now as well. Though he still grunts and screams for everything he wants.

The kids went to the dentist today. I have not heard yet how that went, but my guess is not good. Really, really, really not good. It is a shame the sugar and the sodas that are given to kids in an orphanage. Especially without dental care, it is just ruining the kids teeth. I really think that the gifts that are given to the kids for a short term smile really cause a lot more damage than people realize. I do mean all the gifts, but that is for another day.

When we went to ET we did not think that we would have been there for 4 months, but I am so glad that we stayed. Had we known that it would be that long, we probably would have thought that staying was out of the question, but it was so, so worth it. We had a great time staying there. We stayed at the Ethiopia Guest House and they took great care of us. I would highly recommend it to any adoptive families going to ET. The staff there is amazing and really has become our friends. We definitely felt at home.

We have started to find our new normal. That normal is LOUD, and CRAZY but it is normal now. The other day, we only had the "old" three girls playing inside. Yosef was napping, and the older girls were out riding bikes. Heather and I both thought, "this used to be hard????" It just feels normal now for us to count 6 kids everywhere we go, and for everyone to do a double take and then say, "you have your hands full." Someone asked me how we do it, my reply was, "I have learned to count quicker:)"

Truthfully, God and His sovereign grace is abounding on us. He is giving us patience and love more so than we ever could have thought. We really did not experience much jet lag. Things are going along well. We still have our share of issues, though the tantrums don't last as long as they used to. Yosef is starting to let me hold him a little without screaming the entire time. We are starting to have a much better time between him and I. He has never had a father figure around, or even a male figure. All his nannies were women and it is really hard for him to get used to having a male around. It is understandable, but difficult.

As we started school yesterday, I laid out the rules for our kids. Rule #1 is that we glorify God in ALL that we do. We want our kids to get an education that is well rounded and that is focused on what is truly important.

I have been reflecting on this whole process and I am amazed as I look back and see ALL the ways that the Holy Spirit has been working. He has been leading us, keeping us focused on the Almighty God and living our lives in a way that brings Him glory. The Holy Spirit is still leading our lives, He is still directing us. Our story is not yet over.... I look forward to where He leads us next.

How should we give?

I have been wrestling with the idea of giving a lot lately. I am not sure that I have really landed anywhere, but I really question how we as a family give things away now. Being in ET has really brought the question to the forefront on numerous occasions for us.

There are three books that have really changed my philosophy on giving lately. I read, "When Helping Hurts," a while ago and I am currently reading, "Toxic Charity." Both of these really question the way that I have done things in the past. Also, I am continually reading the Bible, which address giving on numerous different levels.

Giving should help and empower. However, often it doesn't do that. Also, as Christians our giving should really have a focus on furthering God's kingdom.

I think that one of the best ways to accomplish this is by supporting and giving to different missionaries that are working on the front lines, spreading the Gospel and helping communities more holistically.

Another way of giving is by supporting peoples real businesses. Though it has cost us a ton to stay here in ET for so long, one of the things that makes it easier to swallow the cost is knowing where the money is going. By staying in this guest house we are supporting, 2 guards, 2 cooks, 2 cleaners, 3 receptionists. We also have supported a driver fairly often. As we go to the local markets and bakeries and fruit stands we are helping support the community in real ways, by purchasing things from them locally. I know that one of our guards used to rummage through the garbage dump prior to getting this job. I love knowing that I am helping support a secure job that helps his daughter go to school and have enough food to eat. Paying for this guest house is one of the best ways we can support and get to know people on a longer basis.

I don't like hand-outs. The hard part is knowing when to give to someone asking and when not to. It is not always wise to help sustain someones begging. I guess that is where we have to pray for wisdom and guidance on how to handle the different situations.

Like I said, I really haven't landed anywhere. It is a question that keeps confronting me lately though and has been on my mind a lot.

I have a long way to go.

For the sake of honesty, this is how selfish and lazy I (Adam) can be....

I always carry a bunch of 1 birr notes in my pocket to hand out to those in need and those begging any time I go out. I always make sure to have some, as I want to give them freely to those in need, and I often find someone that is begging. (Though, there really aren't a ton in the are that we are living) For comparison, it is 17 birr to $1. Which makes a birr about 5 or 6 cents. 1 Birr is enough to be able to purchase a good sized roll or a small banana. I rarely hand out more than a few birr in a day, yet it is considerably more than the average amount that the beggars receive. I give it to them in the name of Jesus and keep on my way. I am not really breaking the bank here, and I know that. However, it is not meant to be a sustainable way of living for those in need, it really is to just help them with their next meal.

Today, I was walking home, after buying some bread at the bakery and I saw a man sitting on the ground, on the other side of the road. He had his jacket lying on the dirt, and a couple of coins sitting on the jacket. He was obviously begging, though he did not specifically ask me for anything. So I figured, well, he is on the other side of the road and he really didn't see me or ask me for anything so I don't need to go and give him anything. So I didn't. I still can't believe I would be so selfish with 5 cents! It is God's money in the first place, not mine! I continued on my way totally ignoring him. He was across the street, but I was basically walking in the middle of the street and the street is smaller than a normal sized residential street. Really, it is basically an alley. He was about 10' from me!

I kept walking. My hand in my pocket feeling the 1 birr coins jingling around as I walked.

My inner voice was nagging at me as I kept coming up with lame excuses why I shouldn't and couldn't go back to him now that I am so far past him.

After about two blocks, the nagging inside of my head finally won and I turned around. I made my way back to him, dropped a coin on his dirty jacket and blessed him. As I type this, the story of the good samaritan keeps coming to mind. Which one was I? Not the one I should be.

I have a long way to go. Jesus lead me.

Our children's home....

Let me preface this story with one thing. I could not have made this up or embellished it, even if I tried!

We took a trip with all of our kids today to go to Girge. Girge is a small village area of Addis Ababa, which is where Eyerusalem and Mahlet grew up. Their house is about 1/2 mile off the road, on a very rocky and hilly trail. It was kinda like hiking. There were houses all around, trash was everywhere and the village was full of people. As we arrived we obviously stood out seeing as very few firenge's (white people) travel into the neighborhood of Girge. (Though I think we stand out everywhere!) Even as we got out of the car, family friends came to greet our kids. One of the ladies came back to meet us an hour later with five or six old photos of our kids which we treasure!

We made our way to the house, with a trail of people behind us. Their house is in a very hilly area, I lost track of how many times Capri tumbled over due to the uneven terrain. It is a mud house, about 8' by 8' with a tin roof. It was very basic, four walls and a roof, but I think that it mostly kept them out of the weather. Inside of the house, Eyerusalem started to have a very heated discussion with a few of the neighbors and we really weren't sure what was going on as nobody was translating for us. We found out later that she was mad that someone else was living inside of the house. (They have been out of it for almost a year now.)

After many greeting and pictures, we started to head back to the car and were saying our goodbyes. We walked a little ways down the trail when the man Eyerus was having the discussion with, invited us into his home. We came to find out that this man, in his early 40's took really good care of our kids, and was a very good family friend. By this time, it was almost lunch, the smaller kids were hungry and it was getting hot. Our driver was waiting and we were ready to go get something to eat. Heather, and our smaller kids were actually about 50 yards ahead of me and had to return to accept the invitation. Eyerus, asked how much time we had, and I told her 10 minutes knowing that it would be at least 30 minutes after coffee or tea.

We graciously accepted the invitation and headed inside the mud house. This one though had a couch and a couple of chairs. Almost as if they had already planned it, piping hot tea was brought out. As a non tea drinker it was very good. I am sure it was loaded with sugar! They offered the smaller girls some, and as I was declining for them, London grabbed a cup and started to drink. I am hoping and praying that she doesn't get sick. I finished my cup, had another and then drank Geneva's cup. At about this time, they brought out a plate full of bread. It was good bread, but would have been nice to slab it with butter or something. Then, they asked if we would take injera. Sure, why not? I know that Eyerus and Mahlet wanted some. So, a HUGE plate of injera with some fixings was brought out as well. We ate a good lunch, our girls were stuffed, (all except Geneva and Capri, who still don't like injera) More tea was served, and my cup was rinsed in between servings in a pot of water that I pray won't give me the runs.

After the 3rd cup of tea, we got down to business.... The girls house was apparently owned by their mother, who is now deceased. So, we were asked if we would like to live in it right now instead of paying for the guest house! Wow! Think of all the money that we could save! I was trying to make sure that I was really understanding what was going on since Eyerus was the one translating what the friend was saying. We politely declined stating that we are already set up at our guest house and we would be leaving Ethiopia soon.

It gets better... Since our kids mother died, she technically left the house to them. Now that we are their parents, it has apparently become our asset! WE ARE HOME OWNERS HERE IN ADDIS!!!!! Who knew???? So, we were asked what we want done with all the money that they have been collecting in rent. It rents for 150 Birr a month which is about $10. The money has been put into a savings account and they have been waiting for the kids to return (years down the road) to reclaim it. There was discussion for about 10 minutes while we really tried to clarify all that was going on. In the end, we told him that it was a matter of prayer. We told him that right now, we want him to rent it free of charge to street kids who really don't have anywhere else to go. We also directed him to rent it to "positive" widows with kids that might need a place to stay.

We prayed, gave each other blessings and headed out on our way. New homeowners:)

By the way, we got back to our guest house and both I and Eyerusalem told a translator our versions of what happened there and she said that I had the story exactly right, nothing was lost in the translation.

I choose "No Fear"

The popular shirts of the 1990's used to boldly say, "No Fear!" Then, I wore them WAY too much, today I claim it.

At the end of January, three days before I (Adam) was getting ready to return to the US, London got VERY sick. We took her to the clinic after she had a temperature of 105F that was not controlled with Tylenol, Motrin and a cold bath. Luckily, the doctor was able to diagnose her with Typhus. (Which is different than Typhoid fever) Typhus used to be known as jail fever and prior to antibiotics had a mortality rate of almost 50%. Luckily, we had access to antibiotic injections (which were torturous for all involved.) I took her to get her last shot, still with a fever about an hour before I told Heather and the girls goodbye as I left to the airport. It was during a 4 day period, we found out we didn't pass court for Yosef, we weren't submitted to embassy, we had a TON of money stolen and we determined that I had to return to the US.

After doing some research on Typhus we were able to determine that London contracted it via a flea bite (that had bitten a rat) from a very poor area. This poor area, known as Kora is where we go to church. Typhus takes 3 weeks to incubate and doing our math we realized that this was exactly when we decided to take our girls to do some home visits in this area, to pray with and bless those that never can make it to church. London got bit by fleas in the process, as Satan was already planning an attack against us. Prior to going to Kora, I made a conscious decision to take my children into the area. I recognized and knew there might be some risks, but I knew that this is where the Lord was leading us. So we went. The night that I realized how sick London was due to our being there, it made me sick. I brought her in there. I brought her into this spiritual war and she paid a price for it. I stayed up really late that night, praying into the night, refusing to let Satan win. To God be the glory in ALL things.

This coming Monday, we have been given the opportunity to go back to the Kora village and encourage and support some of the widows there. We are going to the Mission Ethiopia area where the women work and make necklaces to sell, so that they can support their families, give their kids an education, and support more of the neighborhood all around them, in the name of Jesus Christ. You can see a video of where we are going HERE! I encourage you to watch it. It took us 5 hours to download here and I am glad that I did. I just showed it to all of our kids. They are all super excited to go and visit the women and see how the necklaces are made.

I am not hesitant to take our kids back there on Monday. I trust in God's sovereign provision and I trust that He cares for my family more than I do. I will not let Satan win. In Christ, I have "No Fear." I will however, go with more prayer than before. I am excited about this opportunity to go into this village again and see Christ work, especially amongst my children. I trust that my family has been and will continue to be covered in prayer through our time here. This is one of the ways that you can pray for us. Another BIG prayer request is that on Thursday, the girls uncle is supposed to go to the Embassy for an interview and we are hoping to be cleared on that day. This will allow us to make our April 3rd flights home!!!

If anyone would like one of the magazine necklaces or clay necklaces seen in the video, send us a message and we will buy them and bring them back for you to buy. The cost is $10 each. Also, specify which kind you would like, clay or magazine.

Entitled

Entitled: A verb; to stake or put claim to something.

One of, if not the hardest thing that we have dealt with in our adoption of two older girls has been entitlement issues. (The other top two issues have been school issues and food issues.) I think that it is so hard for Heather and I to deal with as we just don't really understand it all. So, I have been reflecting on entitlement.

How is it that our girls who came from an orphanage without even their own pair of clothes and just a half full backpack of random items, (such as a 1/2 deck of cards and a few pictures) can now demand SO much. They each had a suitcase of items waiting for them at our guesthouse upon their arrival, including a pair of new shoes. Now, every time we walk past a shoe store we are bombarded with questions about why we won't go and buy them 5 more pairs of shoes! They feel entitled to more. We have given them everything for nothing in return. Nothing that they have done deserves the gifts that they have received, the love that they have been given and the opportunities that will await them. We choose them anyway.

We know not to expect our new kids to feel thankful or grateful, but it is incredibly difficult when you feel like you have now given them more than they need and yet still they are not satisfied with it. They demand more. They might say thank you in the moment, but the moment is fleeting.

I really could go on and on about different entitlement issues that we have dealt with. Trust me, it has been a HUGE issue.

However, I have come to realize that as difficult as it is to deal with, we are ALL guilty of feeling entitled. We feel entitled to:

The right to peace.

The right to prosperity.

Our civil rights.

The right to fast internet.

The right to freedom of speech.

The right to worship how and whom we want.

The right to three meals a day. (at nice places)

The right to take a nice vacation.

The right to buy the newest phones.

The right to have the bigger house.

Etc, etc, etc, etc.

We (myself included) feel so entitled to many, many things. Many of these issues come up and have to be dealt with when you are in a foreign land with a different culture.

As a follower of Christ I have to continually remind myself that I am not entitled to these things. I need to continually re-evaluate my priorities and what is important in my life. I have to often remind myself that I am not entitled to receive any of these things. There is nothing that I have, nor nothing that I can do that earns or deserves the love of Christ. Yet, He lavishly pours it out on me.

Titus 3:4-7

"(4)But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Saviour appeared, (5) he saved us, NOT because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to HIS own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, (6) whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Saviour, (7) so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

I have done NOTHING to earn his grace, nothing!

I am entitled to NOTHING!

I pray that I can remember this, and that I can teach my children it as well:)