So I started thinking that it might be kinda fun to sorta spotlight each of our girls, and how they are doing since we have taken custody of them. I am going to start with Mahlet, since she has changed the most so far.
When we first saw her picture it was heart breaking. She wasn't smiling and her whole body language just screamed "I am angry! I am hurting, and I cannot even pretend to be happy because I am so sad." In the last couple of weeks, Mahlet has really begun to turn away from that angry, sad girl that she once was. Sure, she still has bad days, or difficult moments, but she is starting to be more of a normal kid.
She especially LOVES to be held. She loves it when I rock her, or tickle her, or give her kisses. She comes to our bed each morning for some snuggle time:). Overall she has been doing really well, which is why we were surprised yesterday when she had one meltdown after another. That morning, she was happy and in good spirits. Then we went to the Transition Home to visit our boy, and after getting home it was like she was mad and quiet all the time, similar to when we first brought her home. When we looked back on our day, I began wondering if maybe the reason she was so angry was because we had visited the transition home. The first time we went back to the Transition Home after bringing the girls home, she started screaming and crying and saying she didn't want to go. When we had Eyerusalem translate why, it was because Mahlet thought that we were taking her back, like we were trying to "return" her or something! Break. My. Heart. I cannot even tell you how horrible I felt! Eventually we explained to her that we were going to the Transition Home for the Christmas party, and to see our boy. She was okay with that explanation and we moved past it.
Last night as Adam and I debriefed our day, I really started feeling like most of yesterdays meltdowns were a result of our visit in the transition home. Adam suggested we really pay attention to the next time we go for a visit, and see if a pattern develops. I hated the thought of putting her through that if she really hated going back to the transition home. This morning, when Mahlet asked if we were going to the transition home, I got the feeling that she was asking, not because she wanted to go, but because she wanted to make sure we were NOT going. I had one of the staff in our guest house translate for me to ask her if she liked going to the transition home. I didn't even need anybody to translate her response. Her body stiffened, and her lips started quivering as the puddles in her eyes began to spill over. I immediately scooped her up and held her as she sobbed. I spent several minutes holding her and reassuring her that everything would be okay, that we love her, and that we would not go back (hopefully she will not need to go back for any paperwork reasons).
I think from now on, I will go visit our boy either by myself, or with one or two of the kids, and Adam will stay at home with Mahlet and the other girls.
My heart breaks with you, Heather. We, too, had to take the boys back to the Transition Home after we left on day one, and it was really difficult for them for the same reasons you are writing about. After we returned to the Guest House they fell apart and cried and cried. So sad. I think you are right to keep them away and try to help them understand they will be with you forever, and not have to go back. Victoria and Savannah mention your family just about every day while we know you are there in Ethiopia. Know that we are praying and we can't wait to see you all home together back here in California. God bless you! Alison & all
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